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Well daughter turned the big 13 today and we did just as we pleased without being beholden to anyone and, it was lovely
This time last year we were staying at my mothers with no fixed address and the stress of it all had us both pretty downcast. The year before we stayed with mother at her beach house and it was drama-city, (anyone remember the saga of how my mother decided my dog had made her dog gay and they had to be kept separated, OMG LOL it's hilarious in retrospect) and also, as abf had deteriorated so very badly I spent daughter's birthday feeling worried and checking for messages from him on skype etc. Ugh!!! Anyway i mention these things only because I am so struck by the contrast of then to now...this has in fact been the very, very first time I have spent daughter's birthday with her simply enjoying the day and enjoying spoiling her without concern for anyone else following me around like a storm in the making.
It's been lovely, and very laid back. Last night I took her to a theme park quite a long way away with a friend of hers. We got home well after midnight and both took a long time to settle and go to sleep. Today we both slept outrageously late and with no-one here to answer to there was nothing to be done about it but stretch, yawn, make us a coffee each and then get on with the day!!
I took her to get the ear piercing I had promised (not a standard piercing but something a little more exotic; it looks fabulous although there may be face-ache fallout...oh well!) Sitting in the waiting room I did indeed imagine the argument from her father and even began getting angry over this fictional argument, ugh!!!!! Had to remind myself to stop carrying around angry and difficult versions of people in my head and just take it as it comes).
Anyway the rest of the afternoon was laid back shopping, home to laze about reading, pizzas from the fancy pizza place, some TV and now she's decided to crash in my bed tonight (so she can moan about her sore ear LOL).
Anyway it's been nice, and a real landmark day because, isn't this what I wanted so badly before- to be able to enjoy parenting my daughter and celebrate the good times/ deal with the bad without being constantly overshadowed and undermined by other people?
I'm so happy and proud of my darling girl today; it marks the end of her childhood I guess and she's dealt with a lot in her short time on earth and is growing into a beautiful, vibrant young lady. I'm so very grateful to have shared this journey with her thus far!!
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Hi Ms.M. Loved the trip down Memory Lane. I appreciate the reminder. I do remember the difficulties in the past years, especially the time when your Mom was so upset over her dog's sexual preference which she believed was caused by your dog.It seems like only yesterday .
This year's BD celebration sounded like much more fun and memorable. I am happy for both of you.
You have worked long and hard and are witnessing the fruits of your efforts.
Thanks for continuing to be a Miracle in Progress.
Oh that's tickling my funny bone about your mom's concept of her gay dog and the reason for it.
I hope you can know what an excellent mother you are. Your delight in your daughter is evident. She will always know and internalize it.
One time long ago, I made a quilt for my mom. Without me knowing it she entered it in the state fair, and that meant expert quilters (the bitties!) formally judged it. It was only after Mom died that we found the paper showing their evaluation. WAY funny. When I read "she will benefit from learning more about meitered corners", my thought was I had mother approval. What need do I have for your approval? Also - they were right. It just didn't sting. I was wrapped in feeling good that she had thought it was so brilliant the whole state fair-goers should see it. Good times! I was reminded of that when I read about your daughter's birthday and your joy in being with her. Well done, MissMeliss.
Thanks all, and Jill that's just gorgeous, what a sweet memory to have of your mum
I too think everything daughter does and creates is just wonderful and award-winning quality, lol. She asked me recently to be "more critical and objective" which I am trying to work on!!
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
(((Missmel))) - you are the proud momma of a TEEN!!!! Yay for you both and so glad to hear what fun you enjoyed. Happy Birthday to your daughter and may each day be as pleasant and memorable as this one!
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Sounds like a wonderful fabulous day with your girl. Those days are precious and will be fondly remembered by her in years to come. As I grow older and reminisce it is never about the big moments but the small ones that have the most meaning. The being together in the moment, focused exclusively on the enjoyment of it all is what it is all about. I recently received a heartwarming letter from my daughter and it was the small moments that she commented on. The back yard wiener roast/fires and trips to the beach to play. Memories to treasure.
Thanks for sharing your memorable day! A very happy birthday to the new teen at your house. Had to lol about dau's dad. My mom and I had that issue too with my dad. Our issue was around the mini skirts my mom let me wear. I'd leave in one outfit, change it downstairs before going out the door and then the reverse when I got home.
Glad you both had such a fun day with one another. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.