The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The Courage to Change reading for January 25 speaks about liking the drama and the excitement of crisis in other people's lives, and ignoring our own life.
By coming into Al-Anon we are encouraged to keep the focus on ourselves,talk about ourselves and not anybody else. Many of us discover that we don't know how to talk about ourselves, because we have a low opinion of ourselves.and therefore we have never focused much attention there. This has to stop!!!
Focusing on myself, at meetings was the beginning of rebuilding my self-esteem. and my self worth It took practice but with the support from members in the meeting, I grew more comfortable. By so doing I learned to talk about myself and to view our feelings and achievements and concerns as valid and important.
The quote is from Al-Anon spoken here; "We talk about the part we played in our problems and how we change our attitudes and actions by applying the Al-Anon program to our lives.".
The many gifts that I believe that alanon gave to me was, the ability to keep the focus on myself, understand my motives, feel my feelings and validate my true self. This restored myconfidence , self esteem and self worth and allowed me to detach with love from others. Thank you alanon
This reading helped me remember when I put all of my energy into the situations of other people. I also was sure that I was totally fine, and it was everyone around me that needed help! Thank you Alanon for turning me around on that and many other points.
Thank you Betty for your ESH and today's daily. I keep all my daily readers & literature in a tote bag that I take to my F2F meetings. I did grab those and my laptop while dashing out the door this morning.....I can share that prior to Al-Anon, that small step for my sanity would not have happened, I would have come to the hospital, demanding updates, fretting and stressed...
I am so grateful that I am able to sit in a hospital room, all alone but not lonely. My aunt has been non-responsive since yesterday at some point and will be departing this earth in God's time. I've been here a few hours and she's not aware (or perhaps she is....) that I am here, but she is comfortable and so am I.
I have never been a good 'death watcher' but know this is where I can be to help her children for this moment on this day. A part of me hopes she passes while I am here to not have them suffer any longer and another part of me prays that it doesn't happen. I suppose when you sit with someone you love who is preparing to depart this Earth, so much of the other things in my life that I have worried, stressed, obsessed, controlled, etc. about seem so, so, so small.
I am beyond grateful for my program, my program friends and program family. I know I will be OK, and that I can be sad and of service at the same time. Thank you Al-Anon....
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Thanks Ladies.....I will admit that 5 hours here is making me a bit stir-crazy. I love great attentive nurses - they stop in to see if I want/need anything quite frequently. So very, very nice considering I am well beyond their scope! One came in and asked about doing a procedure.....I said, "I dunno....I am just the niece - let me call her daughter, my cousin and ask."
She came over and took my hand and said, "You are somebody truly important or you wouldn't be here." I thanked her through tears - and you have to understand....I rarely cry - esp. in front of people.
So, I am sitting here in semi-darkness watching TV, texting updates and using my laptop to manage other things - my business, my emails, etc. She's still non-responsive so not sure if she knows I am here. We've had a couple tests, multiple staff and a priest visit - who did pray over her and anoint her with oil. Very nice man! Everyone is so nice - it's actually quite peaceful in a strange way...
I will stay as long as possible and then I will go home and then be on call for service as needed. One doctor suggested I tell my father to come, and I told her that the two of them had said good-bye at Christmas time. We talked about how those who are close to passing often know and do what they can to say their good-byes.
I am sad, but I am at peace. I am so calm, that it's almost scary. I am expecting the worst, hoping for the best.
(((Hugs))) to all of you!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks family! She is moving to Hospice Care today. I have peace right now, for this moment on this day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
