The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been the alcohol police for 11 years. It is a thankless job, stressful, no benefits and the pay is low. I have decided to quit this job. I gave my two weeks notice last week.
Over the years I have gone to F2F meetings for Al-anon and also AA, online meetings, read books, read message boards, etc. It has all helped. Over the past week I got back on You Tube to listen to what others are saying. I have done this before but this time I really listened. I listened to people who are alcoholics, family members who are enduring this crazy life and people who have joined Al-anon.
Over and over I heard people say if you dont have anything kind to say to the alcoholic then dont say anything. They deserve respect also. Another thought was brought up to say, I love you, but I need my space right now, or can we talk about this tomorrow. Never argue when they are drunk, but it is hard when you are not using all of your tools from Al-anon.
Last week I became unglued. It was ugly on my part. I was not kind or respectful to him, said things that were hurtful and I felt terrible about my actions. Am I perfect no, but after all of the years I have been involved with Al-anon I could have done better.
This is a disease. The alcoholic does not grow up saying this is what I want to become. Each person has their own makeup. Since the addict is lying to themselves, they are lying to others by default. And even more, they will lie, cheat, steal and manipulate anyone and everyone to keep the game going. Alcoholism is the only disease that the person can make the diagnosis - Step 1. Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable. The decision has to be their decision and not ours.
Both of my parents drank, especially my dad. We never knew what it was going to be like when he came home. As far back and I can remember that is what it was like. My mom could not walk away or get help so later in life she joined him. It was very sad to watch. I am surprised that neither my sister or I drink at all. Too many bad memories.
I know all of us are tired of the crazy life. It impacts everything we do if we let it. In quitting my job Alcohol Police, I am feeling more at peace. I am trying to think of myself more.
I have prayed to our higher power so much lately Our higher power will hear us and help. I have felt him in my life this past week more than I have in a long time.
Thank you for listening. I really love this site and it has been a life saver for me.
-- Edited by Jen61 on Thursday 21st of January 2016 10:31:14 PM
I remember how great it felt when I finally decided to resign as Manager of the Universe. Best decision I ever made!!
(((Jen)))
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
(((Jen))) - what a great share! I appreciate your resignation and your writings as you are so spot on with it all. Letting go is hard and thank goodness we are only looking for progress. I love that this program and our efforts each day are about being/doing better only, and we are allowed to be human. I had not given myself any breaks before Al-Anon - was raised to 'always do my best, be my best, chin up, etc.' - perfect was the goal...today, I am damn fine and happy with just peace and progress!
Thank you for your powerful moving post this AM! It gave me 'warm fuzzies' to read and digest.
Make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I agree--what a great share Jen. I can relate to a lot of what you said. This site--and all of you--have been a lifesaver for me as I'm sure for many others. We are certainly not alone!
What a wonderful share, Jenn. It's always progress, not perfection. I remember retiring from that career, as well, and I still get twinges that remind me of who I used to be and what I used to do with my free time, but it no longer consumes me. Fleeting thoughts and I'm back to enjoying my new life once again.
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
I've just joined this website and after reading your post I realise I have been working 2 jobs now for a number of years... Firstly my day job, secondly and unbeknownst to me my job with the Alcohol Police!.. No wonder I feel exhausted, thank you for this very clever insight :)
What a great post! I've been working on this myself and I tend to feel better when I'm not worrying, searching or counting. But I do have days where I slip up and regress. Or I get worried that being calmer sends the signal that "hey, it's all good, go nuts!". But it's such an illusion that I had any control to begin with right? :) Plus, most importantly, I start to forget about his issues altogether and get to a point where I am positively focused on myself. Def a great launching point to regain my own life.
Congratulations on your retirement from this exhausting 'job'. I retired from the Alcohol Police some years ago and found it a great relief. Was able to put the focus where it needed to be all along - on me!
