The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thanks. What I'm really looking for is a support group of people who live with the affects of living with someone with Seaver depression. I don't need more info or facts. Read them all. Know it all too well. I need others who can relate.
I guess no one can relate. I've been looking for a long time to find some sort of message board like this one for family members...spouses...of depression. I use my Al-Anon tools but I also need some support/understanding of those living it like I am.
I do my best to keep the focus on myself. I work full time, go to yoga class, run, read, Al-Anon....but there are some affects I can't ignore. I've accepted the fact that my home may very well be foreclosed in the near future since he can't work. Selling isn't an option really for reasons I wont get into. This forum has always been helpful when I feel lonely and helpless in the wee hours. I was just hoping to find the same support for the depression as I have for alcohol/drugs/porn/chocolate/etc......
Nightingale I'd say depression is part and parcel of the whole disease for many of us, for the addicts and for ourselves. I don't know of a specific support group for this; the al-anon program has been sufficient for me to detach from most harmful behaviours and I'm learning to offer loving support without losing myself or my happiness in the process.
I can tell you that my partner is, like yours, a "free range addict", moving from one addiction to the next whenever he gets bored (always drinking though, that rarely stops). In between addictions, when he has nothing to obsess about, he plunges into depression. It's ghastly and it used to feel as if I was on a rollercoaster and at the whim of his obsessions.
I do wonder if rather than seeking help for each of your partners various addictions, it might not be healthier to simply focus on one program that helps you find your own strength regardless of what your husband chooses to do? Al-anon is great for this, or, I don't know if you have them there but I've been to coda meetings which were helpful in a more broad and general way?
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Hello Nightingale - I've found this one useful for seeing similar stories from people living with people living with anxiety and depression and to realise you're not alone: http://depressionfalloutmessageboard.yuku.com
what I find is missing from it are any tools for how to deal with it and deal with the effects on you. It's not a 12 step programme and even though in my situation actual active drinking wasn't the main problem I've found MIP and the al anon tools more valuable than anything. For me step 1 is admitting we are powerless over...''fill in the blank'...
Having said that though Depression Fallout was useful too to just be reminded what the characteristics of these mental health disorders are so that I could get a grasp on what could be considered 'normal' and what isn't. When you're in the thick of it it's easy to forget that.
