The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for January 16 speaks about "reacting" to situations. It points out that when a thought enters our mind we often feel that we automatically MUST speak kit. I know I though T that I had a very powerful mind as I could react instantly to any argument or situation without thinking-- alanon taught me that "without thinking " was the problem.
In Al-Anon we learn not to react and give our power away to a situation or person.That we have choices and we can take a moment, to "think", before we speak.
When we are tempted to respond to angry accusations with accusations of our own. We can stop and think. and find a response within that validates my principles and myself When I have an urge to betray a confidence, to gossip, I can stop and think. This way I make a conscious choice about how I will respond and interact. Perhaps I will decide to say nothing, or choose a more tactful way to proceed. Whatever happens, it just means that I have been thinking. I then must be willing to accept the consequences of my actions because I took the time to make a choice.
The reminder for today suggests that we should make our words serve our best interests, and we should choose them with care.
. The quote is from Louis Armstrong. "I don't let my mouth say nothing. My head can't stand.". Love this statement and I have selected it for my motto for today
I also love, love the quote of the day.....In the past, my mouth and mind had a direct connect and at times, I even surprised myself with the ouput.
Thank you Betty for the ESH and the daily for today. When I came to Al-Anon and folks talked about not reacting, it took me a while to figure out that my defending, justifying, blaming, arguing, etc. were also reactive. I really, really wanted others to know what was my fault and what was their fault. What I've learned is that if two folks watch the same show, they will pull 2 entirely different messages. What I think, see, feel and believe is vastly different from what another sees, thinks, feels and/or believes. So, for me, it took time to figure out that JADE has EVERYTHING to do with reacting, which was my go-to defense mechanism when I was fearful.
When I am program-centered, I do pretty well at not reacting without thinking. Often, when I think it through, I see no reason to react or answer. I will do so only if I think what I have to share will add value. I have learned that what I am and how I act/react has nothing to do with my qualifier or another - it has to do with my spiritual connection. If I step away from what works for me, I am more inclined to 'act badly'. When I start blaming others, it starts a change in my attitude that upsets my serenity and harmony.
So grateful for Al-Anon and am grateful that I have learned to work on keeping the focus on me and my recovery vs. my special qualifiers and theirs!!
Have a great day!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I particularly like the part where it reminds me that if an opinion about another persons business has not been requested, I can take the time to think before I get involved. Too often I have jumped in to offer my opinion when it wasn't asked for. I am slowly learning to take a few moments and proceed with caution. It keeps my life simpler and prevents me from taking on others burdens that are for them to carry.
Thank you for posting this. I have been strivng to act with intention. I had fallen out of practice but I have a nightly ritual of 20 minutes or so of knitting and thinking about what I want to attract to myself or what quality of thought/action I want to focus on for the next day. I write it down and carry it with me.
Since this most recent turmoil in my life I refocused on this ritual. I seems to be helping except I struggle to find the words for what I want. Thinking about and accepting accountability for my actions as I set and work towards these intentions means really searching within myself and teasing that out- what do I want and who do I want to be? Some realizations are liberating, others are shadowy and hard to admit. Being authentic and honest feels wonderful, and is very hard.
I like the Louis Armstrong quote too, a good reminder to keep on touch with myself and be accountable to my standards for myself. Gratitude MIP family.
