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It's been a while since I've logged on, but am always grateful for my MIP family. I'm still having difficulty extricating myself from my AexH and his AW and am wondering if someone can direct me where to go for help in my community. For those that don't know me, I've been divorced since 2006, but get dragged back to court annually. Last year, I received advice from the judge to give up most of what I was entitled to have an ending. I did.
Then he and new wife violated that agreement and court order too, and filed fraudulent tax forms stating I took money. My family court order for his not doing this to me should technically hold. However, there is no consequence (yet) if it is violated. I am still in family court because this is where the court has ordered that he can't continue to ask me for money, but I am still not feeling I'm in the right place. I could just go through audit after audit, but I am so sick of this and I really want to live my life. They keep escalating damages and filed papers with the court that assassinate my character and are slanderous. I cannot prove to the court how this has impacted my ability to work, and the court is unsympathetic to anything emotional. I've already been through many lawyers and am now cash-poor. I don't want to feel like a victim and I don't see family court being able to impose and enforce sanctions. I tried googling things, but my situation is so chaotic and crazy that there don't seem to be lawyers in my area that are savvy with this. I thought it may bring better results to ask here. Many thanks!
Ugh, Bud you have my full sympathy. In a similar situation to yours, I ended up walking, leaving the country. Its hell on earth to be dragged through excessive litigation over absolutely everything and usually nothing at all. Its also an abuse of the court process. Can you research the common law cases on malicious applications? I hear you when you say you've been through a lot of lawyers. Can you ask someone at a domestic violence center for one of theirs? They usually have a list of lawyers and you could sound out whats happening with a dv case worker. Again for what its worth, you have my full compassion. It is hard to live like that. Self care as always and as ludicrous as it sounds a big dose of healthy fun kind of like an antidote to all the poisonous slander. Take care of you. Xxoo
Oh bud so glad to see you back so very sorry you are dealing with this at the moment. I dunno at what point do you give up. 7 like the idea of talking to a domestic violence center. You know I would visit or call a near by college that teaches law. Ib would see if a class wanted to take your case on as a semester project. I would also go and find out if there are any attorneys willing to take your case on pro-bono they have to do so many hours each year. There are options. It also sounds like a New tactic is needed. Hearing from student people may put yourself in a better position. Hugs. You have my sympathy as well.
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Thank you a4l, it helps to know that I'm not crazy and I'm not alone. So few people understand this. I'll start researching malicious applications and see what turns up. Years ago the head of the dv shelter busted my anonymity because she knew my exAH... I may be able to inquire under an aka.
I'm sorry for the ongoing insanity you're experiencing with your ex. I found contacting the bar association in my state at the time of my divorce to be really helpful. There is a small fee for a consultation. I believe I paid twenty five dollars per consult. From doing a little research, I believe it's fifty now. I was actually able to scheduling multiple consultations by seeing attorneys in adjacent towns. By seeing a few established attorneys, I was able to gather information and be given some general direction as to how to proceed. Although this service is offered as a way of getting business, there was no solicitation from any of the attorneys with whom I visited.
Aside from your own state, don't rule out the possibility that a well established law school in a neighboring state might be able to take your case pro bono. My own divorce attorney practiced in three neighboring states. (((hugs))) TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
(((Bud))) - so sorry about your pain and legal 'stuff'.....I have nothing new to offer with exception to community or county resources. While they may not be able to support any legal course of action, they can certainly support the effect of this 'stuff' on your physical and mental health.
Take good care of yourself and I'll keep my thinking cap on. I do agree that reaching beyond your state is a win/win - most that are licensed in my state are also licensed in the adjacent state as many people cross back/forth for jobs, work, etc.
Keep coming back and keep us posted as your experience will benefit others! Know that we're just a post away!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you so much Iamhere. All support is very much appreciated. I'm trying to take care of myself and continue to expand my support network. Thank you again and yes, please let me know if anything else comes to mind.