The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i was sitting in my new but roach ridden apartment tonite and feeling so werid. its like 24 yrs of living with my xah justlike slammed shut,walled up and seems so strange now that im gone from the situation. i dont get any calls from my xah and it feels so unreal or surreal and that is a puzzling and sometimes scary feeling. does anyone know what i mean? im taking good care of myself and trying to move forward but feel odd sometimes
Alyce let yourself grieve. It really does
Help you release some of your pain and
hurt.
Its a process and a very hurtful one, i
Still go to divorce care. Its a death of a
Marriage and of our dreams.
Be gentle with yourself, keep reaching
Out for support from good healthy people.
Churches are a great Resource during this
Time.
I still have a empty hurt feeling i hope
Will go away one day. Its been six months
Of no contact and i heal and detach every
Day.
The holidays are brutal full of Triggers. I still
toss And turn many nights. Its all the emotions
and feelings that need to still come out somehow
And get processed. I am not frightened Of them.
Hey Alyce - I am estranged from my son, and we haven't spoke for almost 3 months. I can relate from that perspective. I mourned the loss of our relationship and my dreams for him a long while ago and feel that weirdness at times. It just seems so strange to live in the same town, and not ever speak to each other. I am at times sad, but I mostly hold onto the thoughts that God doesn't have grandchildren, and while I am still breathing and he is too, there is a change to repair whatever is broken.
I also hold onto that which is good - he seems happy, he and his kids are healthy, he is going to school, etc. It helps me find peace to know that I've done all that has been suggested to repair the relationship and for now, it seems to be his choice vs. mine that we are estranged.
After we live with this disease and find recovery, I find that 'more is revealed' as we are able to handle it. I have gone through periods in recovery where I think I am doing fine, and then as Mirandac says - there is a trigger, and I go back through a step/two/more to manage the discomfort.
Hopefully, you can continue to stay in the now and work on you and those silly roaches will vacate the premise!!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Yes, it's a grieving process- 5 stages. It gets better with time, self care & Program participation. Even though it's better today in many ways, the new normal still has to become just that, the new normal. If you're like me, change is hard. Allow yourself time to feel, deal and heal without being too hard on yourself. Hugs
