The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I graduated on Friday, December 18th with a degree in nursing and can't believe I made it through my full time program as a full-time single Mother raising my two girls while holding down a part-time job. I still need to work on my confidence even after achieving all that I have, but I am darn proud that I stuck with it. Honestly there were more times than I can count that I wanted to quit, I had failures, obstacles and so many things financially that made this very difficult. I set my mind to this and believed in myself enough to know I wanted this! With hard work, dedication and perseverance I made it through and I now know I can do anything I set my mind to do.
After being with my ex-AH for so many years I was worn down, exhausted and miserable. It had been 15 years of trying to please someone unpleaseable, and spent too much energy trying to be perfect so he would love me the way I wanted to be loved! Until I found al-anon I never imagined I needed to stop everything I was doing and start taking better care of myself. I left my exAH and started going to al-anon meetings twice a week and found my sponsor and worked the steps and life has never been the same. I am so happy, my journey only keeps getting better. I truly am setting goals and completing them, I am living life on my terms. I know how to set boundaries and listen to my red flags. I can now know that I don't care to fit in with everyone, or try to do what others are doing. I actually stopped being a people pleaser! I don't walk on egg shells for anyone and I now say the things I want to say, without saying it mean.
I can't believe I am the same person that bent to my exAH, MIL, FIL and anyone else that was close to me, I had such a need for everything to appear perfect. I no longer hide my struggle, I am human and vulnerable and if you can see me, understand me and not judge me you can be my friend and if not, well I won't even try or bother to explain myself, because I am living my life for me. I do spread what finding al-anon has done for me, because my life has changed for all to see and I am accomplishing big things and my kids are reaping the benefits of my changing the things I can, which is me, my attitude and perspective. I am no longer a victim of my choosing, but a survivor that has chosen to break the dysfunctions that come from generations of both my parents and generations beyond. God has helped me learn to get out of the pit I lived in for most of my life and feel truly free!
I know that great things are coming my way! Graduating was my biggest step towards a career and life I want and now big things are to follow, with my 17 year old going off to college next year and getting accepted to her number one pick! My Dad didn't graduate from 8th grade and my Mom got pregnant with my older brother and dropped out of high school at 16. My father died early addicted to narcotics and my Mom and her boyfriend are potheads, my exAH is still heavily drinking. I am detached and living my life away from and not affected by any of the A's in my life any longer. My children and I are thriving and heading towards a wonderful future and enjoying today!
I am not saying life is perfect by any means and I have had stress, plenty of it actually trying to get through school on my own with no family around, but it is manageable in small bites at a time. I have made many friends and they have become my new family. I have a great boyfriend the last year and a half and now that I am whole without a man, I am so much better and healthier with this man. We plan to move in together this coming Summer and to start a life together. We both have two girls each and they get along really well. I am so appreciative for al-anon and all that comes along with it, like life changing and direction altering things have happened with me working my program, between meetings, reading daily and working my hind-end off to do everything I could to feel and live a better quality of life. Thank you all for the love and support MIP family!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
"I am no longer a victim of my choosing, but a survivor that has chosen to break the dysfunctions that come from generations of both my parents and generations beyond. God has helped me learn to get out of the pit I lived in for most of my life and feel truly free!"
You're describing my path of recovery there as well. It is an incredibly awesome feeling to know that, thanks to the program, I am breaking the chain of what is truly the family disease. I am grateful to HP for giving me the growth to hand in my resignation to the Doormat Club and take ownership of my life.
Now that you've graduated, put all that in a SOAP note, LOL.
Soo excited for you, and inspired by you!!! Yay you!!!!
(((BF)))
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Congratulations - WOW - Keep on rocking - the sky is the limit! What a lovely post and a testament to the power of choosing ourselves over the disease or the diseased!
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Congrats BreakingFree, you should feel "darn proud!" Not many people can accomplish what you have and overcome the obstacles in your path. I wish you all the luck in your new career! You give me hope....
