The material presented
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Axbf moved out of our apt and into the surprise lease he signed this weekend where he was hoping we would continue dating and he could start drinking again. (hopes dashed). Walked in with his friend and started crying. Said, 'This is not what I wanted.' He feels now he made a mistake. How cunning is this disease! When he signed the lease he told me it was for our future, that I had many character defects which concerned him, and that we should date again from separate apartments to work on us and so he could work on "him" too. ( start drinking again after 2 months in AA) Now that I found out he slept with our friend (another addict) while we were separated, he would give his left leg to move back in b/c he realizes the damage that has done. On top of it he lost half of his good friends because of that drunken night & people are telling him they are tired of his drinking.
Funny I didn't waste a second fretting over my "defects' and knew he moved out to drink. Now with a sudden change of events he would move back in, in an instant! (character defects no longer an issue!)
I have accepted what he did and that he is drinking. I can't take him back because I am too hurt that he slept with that friend and also moved out. Al anon is right about us needing to be happy, and deserving to be happy regardless of their decisions. I am doing better this week and making plans with friends for NYE and Christmas which actually has me excited! :) I am unable to think past a few days, or a couple weeks, b/c of the pain. I think that is normal? ... but I told myself I can at least plan happiness for right now. Today or next week. Right now, as he drinks, and is all over the place, Al anon says, I can be happy still and I really have faith in that otherwise they wouldn't say it! I feel more free than usual. I hope that lasts. Thanks for listening...
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Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.
Pain surely is normal. But you sound strong and as f you are making decisions for you and that's really, really good.
You're worth that, and you're right, we can be happy regardless of what someone else does to themselves.
good on you
(((Giraffe)))
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Great share Giraffe. I am sorry for the situation that you are going through but it sounds like you are very strong and using your al anon tools. I hope you have a fantastic Christmas and holiday season. Keep being positive.
Lovely, lovely, lovely Giraffe! This is my first visit for the day and the first post I read! I love hearing that you're working on you and your happiness.....what a great gift!
Thank you for the share!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks all. :) I wanted to share so I could hear you all post what I already knew. We can find happiness if we keep on keeping on. I read a post on here about detaching with love, that is also helping me find that happiness. As I fell asleep last night I kept affirming to myself that I can find happiness in the next few weeks. My higher power is going to help make that happen if I really want it to.
This second time around I also realized it is about planning things that we have to look forward to. Keeps my energy focused somewhere else instead of dwelling on him and I. Really helpful!
-- Edited by giraffe13 on Wednesday 16th of December 2015 07:52:33 PM
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Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.
