The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about the possibility in loving detachment- the acceptance that we cannot make changes in other people, putting the energy and focus into care of ourselves rather than an obsession with other people. When I first started attending alanon meetings I would hear people speak about loving detachment and think 'well, these people just gave up and gave in to the life of the alcoholic!' I could not understand the idea of giving up the fight! Of course at that time I as also a ball of anxiety, that's where immersing in the fight had gotten me. The last paragraph of the reading today is a reminder that we are not pursuing perfection, just aiming for the daily changes that add up to an overall progress.
I am grateful that my energy these days is going into the full time job of caring for myself. I am thankful that I have tools in the program to help guide me in my progress.
Hope you all have a great Tuesday- taking care of yourselves!
M
PS. I know that detachment is a tricky concept for a lot of us-- including me! When I think of loving detachment, I think about caring and compassion without the immersion in someone else's situation...
Great Share Mary Thank you I agree detachment is a difficult concept to grasp but once grasped and implemented, it opened my heart and mind to so much serenity accompanied by compassion.
I think you explained detachment perfectly Once I ACCEPTED that I was completely powerless over people, places and things, it made so much sense to concentrate my efforts on myself where I had power and to trust HP to handle the rest .
Acceptance is the key .
Thanks again
F
Awesome share Mary - thank you for the daily and your ESH.....I was such an over-thinker when I arrived that I could not grasp the detachment with love. I was so angry and sick, I couldn't see the forest for the trees......let alone any kind of 'big picture' and faith in a HP.
Boy - I've improved in this area but there is still growth possible. I tend to detach and run at times still when I am unsure what to do or if I need to do anything. I am learning that it's OK to PAUSE and PRAY and wait to do many times, and my HP does guide me over and over and over again.
(((Hugs))) to all...
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I am new here, but I am very interested in this talk of "loving detachment". I think this is what my grandmother expressed when she said of my grandfather "he did not choose to be this." I feel this way about my ex. Sometimes I am accused of being "too forgiving". I tell people who say this, I am not forgiving him or turning a blind eye to what he is- I simply stopped resenting him for it. He is what he is, and no amount of love or anger from me will change him.
You don't hate the sun for burning you, but you do put on sunscreen. This is my idea of the desired "detachment".
thank you for the image of the sun and what we do to protect ourselves from it. When my daughter was 2 yrs old she would get angry at the sun if she felt it in her eyes--would laugh about this but now I am thinking, I need to work on progressing from a 2 yr old's perception and just protect myself!
