The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I attended an AA meeting with my husband last night where he picked up his second white chip. His first was last year about this time and he was sober for 3 months before he relapsed. This last period of drinking had progressed very quickly. For the first time in our marriage A became a serious problem. I started sleeping on the couch because he would pass out in the bed and snore so loudly. For some reason he started thrashing around in his sleep too sometimes knocking a glass of water or the lamp off the nightstand. It was just more peaceful for me to sleep on the couch. We had also quit having sex because he was too drunk at night and I couldn't stand the sickly sweet alcohol smell of him in the morning.
But here we are on the morning of day two of being sober. He has a white chip in his pocket, and I have hope that we can come out of the fog we have been living in. I have decided to stop drinking also. I'm not going to tell him or make a big deal of it. It will be easy for me and I didn't drink very often so it won't even be that noticeable to him. I am so grateful that he came to the decision to quit on his own without me nagging or begging. Anyway, just wanted to share some good news this morning. Suggestions for how to support him are welcome!!
Great news Kate I found that the best way to support my partner was to keep attending alanon meetings and continue to develop healthy tools to live by.
Thanks Kate for stopping by and sharing! I agree with Betty - the best way for you to support him is to seek your own recovery and understanding of this disease through the Al-Anon program and tools.
Pass my congratulations to your husband as well - recovery is the best gift he can give himself too - and best to the both of you!
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Congratulations for his attempt...it is humbling receiving a white chip among all the other metal chips and if his humility tools are strong he will steadily grow in recovery just as will his recovering family. I am in support of his move to detach from this mind and mood altering chemical and the severe problems it causes. Keep on keep in on. (((hugs)))
I am familiar with that hope, tempered by trying to keep the expectations to a minimum, when the white chip is given. Stay strong in your recovery, learn how to detach, and learn when you do and don't need to detach, that's what worked well for me.
