The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I want to thank everyone who read and gave an answer to my other post. It is most kind of you all.
I am starting to learn that being in recovery is the only way to enjoy life. You see, I now realize that I don't really enjoy my life. Who would want to live like I do. I spend way too much of my time thinking about my "on and off" boyfriend. He takes up way too much space in my mind daily.
I want to have a life of freedom from these thoughts of him all the time.
Something I want to share is that he spends most of his time with his friends. It will be WEEKS before he calls and we go out for a short time....oh my how sad I have let my life become.
Why do I settle for crumbs from him.....I am trying to figure out that question......darn it hurts terrible.
I read this board a lot and want to say that I am slowly learning from each of you that I do have worth.
Thank you for listening to me. It helps more than you will ever know.
-- Edited by lookingforme on Sunday 22nd of November 2015 04:43:32 AM
lookingforme I love your log on name as it indicates, to me. that you are finally accepting the fact that you need to" Find yourself" in order to build a life.Your last post said it all-- Abandoning our own dreams and life in order to wait for another to call, is a true waste of time and a life. You are not alone. We who have lived with the disease of alcoholism can identify .
The alanon program of face to face meetings (which help to break the terrible isolation we impose on ourselves) understands what we need to do in order to accomplish this task. It is a Day at a Time program whereby we remember that we have a loving Higher Power, who wants the best for us . That when we give our power away to another human being we are shutting out the light and guidance.
The Steps and the slogans have all been designed to guide us slowly but surely along the road. We eventually rebuild our self esteem and self worth, continue to be kind, generous, compassion people with one distinction, we take care of our spiritual ,emotional and physical selves first. We stop reacting and begin to act in our own best interests. In other words when we find our HP we find ourselves. Keep on keeping on. You are worth it
lookingforme - your post is very self-revealing and powerful. One thing I was told when I came to the program was to look at my writing, thinking, actions, reactions as if I were my best friend. Would I wish my life, my style, my patterns, etc. for that best friend? We learn in this program that we do matter, we are worthy - all of us - no matter what we've done or where we've been in the past.
Everything Betty says above me is spot on for continued personal growth and a freedom from this disease like no other. So glad you are a part of my journey!
Make it a great day!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
