The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
AW has been going to AA for a couple of months but is continually relapsing back to 3/4 day binges. Ive had to set boundaries and she was told recently that if drunk again in the house then i would ask her to leave and she would only come back in when sobber.
Despite a good start she decided to test said boundary today.
i kept my cool and calmly told her what shed done and that she needed to leave.
after a little resistance she got her things together and i prayed as she had no money or anything else and no place to go. As she headed towards the door extremely upset and ill equiped due to being drunk i stopped her told her I loved her deeply. I then gave her a warmer coat and in a pocked I placed a key to the shed saying be safe and she went quietly. i then placed a sleeping bag in the shed were it could easily be seen.
reason i did this is id seen the weather forecast and knew it was going to be very cold.
whilst she was out i kept myself busy and focussed on me and also took time out to relax and pray for her. After a couple of hours i noticed that the lock to the shed was off. I didnt go out but i did see movement (thankfully not a thief) and the occupant spent around 5hrs sleeping before they knocked on the door apologising but sober and cold.
As they were now sober they were allowed back in. I stayed calm and didnt confront or discuss the matter only to say that I was glad she was safe, were no longer drunk and that I loved her. She apologised, broke down and called her sponsor
end result im feeling good. she will know that im serious and that the consequences of breaking the rules will be severe. Im also proud that i was able to detach with love as if i hadnt then she would have probabley frozen as it got down to around 3deg C today.
ive prayed on my own and with her tonight and i hope that she finds her HP and starts working the steps honestly and sincerely.
weve also prayed for all who suffer from the disease.
the above sounds tough and it was but i know unless i work my programme and stick by my principles then i will go back to a dark place. I am worth it and it will start we me.
Gratitude for today: that my AW returned safe and that my HP gave me the strength to see things through.
Good for you, Lee. I can see it was tough but you said what you meant and you meant what you said and you didn't say it mean and you were not mean. You gave her shelter and a sleeping bag and a quiet place to sleep it off. We always say to not put pillows out to let them land on, and literally, you didn't. Good job!
I agree with MaryJane - good job! I am glad that you chose yourself, and set a boundary and acted accordingly. Peace for a restful night!
(((Hugs))) to you both - this disease is not easy to battle, but recovery is possible for those who fight for it...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
