The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
One day at a time lol..Yesterday was my first 24 hours radio silence. .no calls,no texts..we haven't talked since Monday so it's been hard. Kept telling myself I'd call him in an hour lol, that's how I did it. Kinda forgot how hard it is to love an addict..Have a safe and blessed day
You too - have a great day.....One Day at a Time makes my life much more manageable and brings about serenity for this moment. Keep taking care of you!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
You too - have a great day.....One Day at a Time makes my life much more manageable and brings about serenity for this moment. Keep taking care of you!
Lol right now I'm doing one hour at a time..trying not to imagine him sprawled out on the floor in his trailer..I think I'll try to reach out one more time and then that's it..I told him I'd stay with him through this journey but I won't carry him..I hate the disease
I can relate. One of my symptoms was my addiction to the alcoholics in my life. The same way they have a compulsive desire to drink, I had a compulsive desire to fix or rescue. He was all I could think about. It stopped me living my life. Im not sure whether you are a member or not but Alanon let me see this and then let it go. It was like being set free from a prison that was a wee bit comfortable.
I know that feeling. I was, and sometimes still am, attracted to chaos and drama. I didn't recognize it for so many years though so I thought it was normal. Now I know better and I find that knowledge helps keep me from engaging with the addict/alcoholic. I am much more at peace today even if it killed me to keep to myself and stay on my side of the street. Keep coming back, stay strong. You are doing great!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Higher Power at work lol
FEAR:
False. Evidence. Appearing. Real.
In Al-Anon, the answer to What if? Is: Dont project! Dont imagine the worst; deal with your problems as they arise. Live one day at a time. I cannot do anything about things that havent happened; I will not let the past experiences make me dread the unknown future. It is a vain and unprofitable thing to conceive either grief or joy for future things which perhaps will never come about. (One day At a Time in Al-Anon pg. 193)
Great post ceewi and reference of the literature!!
I have to admit, I am one who has to find joy in simple things....
When we had total chaos/drama here (all 3 qualifiers active and battling daily over everything), I prayed for peace. I prayed for quiet. I prayed to be drama-free.
When things settled down, and the boys moved out and I got what I wanted/needed, I wasn't quite sure what to do with 'me'... The chaos and drama caused by this disease had become the normal, so I had some difficulty dealing with the peace/quiet/calm.
Today, I am grateful for it. So very grateful but it was a change and thank goodness I was able to find productive, constructive things to fill my brain/time/days with.
Have a super Friday to one and all!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Great post ceewi and reference of the literature!!
I have to admit, I am one who has to find joy in simple things....
When we had total chaos/drama here (all 3 qualifiers active and battling daily over everything), I prayed for peace. I prayed for quiet. I prayed to be drama-free.
When things settled down, and the boys moved out and I got what I wanted/needed, I wasn't quite sure what to do with 'me'... The chaos and drama caused by this disease had become the normal, so I had some difficulty dealing with the peace/quiet/calm.
Today, I am grateful for it. So very grateful but it was a change and thank goodness I was able to find productive, constructive things to fill my brain/time/days with.
Have a super Friday to one and all!!
I'm lucky in a sense that he doesn't live with me so chaos is minimal..I go to the gym 3 days a week..running takes me away and I volunteer so I won't get stuck on the pity pot..I was doing all of this before I met him..and now its more important than ever..The last thing I want to do is fall back into my old routine of keeping the focus on him..I didn't realize how hard it is not to fall back into bad habits
Welp..an update..just got a text a few minutes ago apologizing for not calling..misplaced his phone and wrecked the bike..Naturally I call thought he was in the hospital..nope from the sounds of it he's high as a kite lol..Yeah I know its not funny, but it is..I mean I have to laugh cuz right now I don't know if he's telling the truth or not..and I really don't care.
I was going to go by and see if he needed anything but he couldn't get a sentence out..so I might go by tomorrow..and then again I might not. Some people may call me cold and callous but the only drama I want is on tv..not in my life
I am so glad today is gym day smh
Another great Al-Anon tool from the slogans.....what other people think of me is none of my business. So, if protecting your peace, sanity and serenity gives others a reason to judge, that's on them - not on you or me. Detaching is a gift and a priceless one at that...
Enjoy your day and the peace that comes with it!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I feel your pain. My live in boyfriend took off last week for 4 days on a crack binge. This is the first time since we have been together. The first 2 days he would text me tell me he loves me and will be home later. No call no show. On the 3rd day I got a text saying I need time to myself I love you I'll be home later. This time I did not text back. Next day another text saying the same thing. I ignored him again. I did it to separate myself from the drama. I knew if I feed into it I would only go crazy. Next day I get a text saying he was on a steady crack binge and got beat up by his dealer he was outside in his car could I come calm him down. He was in a state I had never seen him in before. Its been 6 days since he came home. Hes been trying to stay away from all drugs but weed. Today I wake up and he used another drug not crack but a drugs a drug right. I'm not sure if I should talk to him about it or just go about my business. I have no problem ignoring him if hes not around but if hes in the house its much harder. I am going to a meeting tonight my home meeting so I know that will help me. But today's been a hard one.
I feel your pain. My live in boyfriend took off last week for 4 days on a crack binge. This is the first time since we have been together. The first 2 days he would text me tell me he loves me and will be home later. No call no show. On the 3rd day I got a text saying I need time to myself I love you I'll be home later. This time I did not text back. Next day another text saying the same thing. I ignored him again. I did it to separate myself from the drama. I knew if I feed into it I would only go crazy. Next day I get a text saying he was on a steady crack binge and got beat up by his dealer he was outside in his car could I come calm him down. He was in a state I had never seen him in before. Its been 6 days since he came home. Hes been trying to stay away from all drugs but weed. Today I wake up and he used another drug not crack but a drugs a drug right. I'm not sure if I should talk to him about it or just go about my business. I have no problem ignoring him if hes not around but if hes in the house its much harder. I am going to a meeting tonight my home meeting so I know that will help me. But today's been a hard one.
Sorry you're having a bad day Ashley. I'm just getting home from a 5 mile run..totally cleared my head. I love my guy,he's an addict, some days I have to love him from across the street. Today is one of those days..I'm not driving an hour to watch someone twitch in their sleep. He can be mad ,not my problem lol
I think that's a good call. I felt really confident in standing my ground when I ignored my addict. Its crazy how concordance in doing the right thing for you can make all the other stuff take a back seat. I'm looking forward to that feeling again.
