I just had a giggle in my brain....when my sponsor suggested I maybe go to an Al-Anon meeting, I remember thinking, "You mean I need another 12 Step program? Are you freakin kidding me?" I was so resistant as I was already in recovery on the other side, and surely I was just fine and they were the broken ones.....I was disappointed and perhaps a bit miffed....

Of course, I continued on my path of extreme worry, attempting to control, change, fix, etc. my qualifiers until I was even more miserable and beaten down. So, when she suggested it again, I felt I was on the verge of being 'fired' as a sponsee and better at least go to a meeting.

I showed up not wanting to be there, angry, sad, depressed, destroyed - you name it negative, I feit it.....and yes - I wanted to know how to fix these broken people around me. Based on this, can you imagine my resistance to accepting I was the problem in my own life?

Oh Lord....I am so grateful for the changes recovery has given me. As I think about where I was and where I am, It's so miraculous that today, when I am bothered or restless, I immediately look at me and wonder what I can do to change this/heal this? I could write about this forEVER and never feel as if I had explained my level of gratitude for this program, those who came before me, the steps, the slogans, etc.

It's so true for me - relief is no longer enough....I want and work to be the best me possible and to have and live a life that is fulfilling. I am grateful to have passion again towards healthy things and a changed attitude. I do feel and believe, just for today, that I can do and be whatever I want to do and be. What a gift - beyond words - I am grateful!!

Thanks to all for being here - (((hugs)))!