Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: what??? puzzled??


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 148
Date:
what??? puzzled??


My exbf had been texting me for days I ignored him and he showed up at my apt this weekend we talked I said we could text and see what happens. I said the trust had been broken and that I needed a lot of time before I could trust him. Today he called me and stated that he loved me and he loved his old exgf. That he didn't want to lose me that if I could wait for him and that we could see each other whenever he was not seeing her. He then proceeded to say that he wanted to give it a try with this woman and if it didn't work out that he would be back with me. I was speechless I didn't know what to say. No words came out of my mouth. Then I thought maybe I heard wrong so I said "What?" a few times. He repeated himself again. I just said no and hung up. I blocked his number. What just happened? I kept asking myself. Why would a man say that? I am puzzled by it. I knew no was the answer to his question but why would he ask that of me??

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 934
Date:

Well if that is not classic triangulation so he can keep you hooked in. Don't take the bait and when people show you who they are believe them. You do not deserve that type of treatment. I am so sorry this is happening.

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1661
Date:

I too am sorry he did this to you. He wants his cake and eat it too. Glad you said no,
I would have told him to get a life!!



__________________

 "Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown

Debbie



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3613
Date:

It just defies belief, doesn't it?  But some people will take whatever they can.  He thought, "Can I bamboozle her into waiting while I try out this other gal?"  And sadly, some women have so little self-esteem that they would have said yes.  So glad you didn't fall for this miserable situation.  He's really showing his true colors, isn't he?  I know there is someone better waiting for you!



__________________


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 25
Date:

"I knew no was the answer to his question but why would he ask that of me??"

Because he underestimated your self respect. Makes you feel a little sorry for the other woman doesn't it. 

You made a good decision.  (((hugs))) TT



__________________

Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1887
Date:

You REALLY dodged a bullet with that one. Wow. Sounds like one of those bona fide narcissists to me!!!

Big hugs. You deserve SO much better!


__________________

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:

 

 

He's auditioning for the position of circus clown and good bye sounds like an appropriate response to this...(((hugs))) ...maybe a tazer could help? smile



__________________
AmZ


Newbie

Status: Offline
Posts: 4
Date:

Truth wrote:

when people show you who they are believe them


Such a great line! #stealingit

I agree with above posters. He has shown his true colors, which you probably already figured out. What a winner. Sorry you had to listen to that but hopefully you aren't listening any more!



__________________

"When people show you who they are, believe them." ~Maya Angelou



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2200
Date:

*!@***??!! Madness!

Well done you!


__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3496
Date:

Texasgal I'm so glad you are ok. Yup .. You definitely dogged a bullet. The one part I'm disturbed with is he showed up at your home when you didn't respond the first time. Please be safe ave GFU that you stuck to your value. The hardest thing to get rid of is an A. Hugs and do stay safe! Hugs.

__________________

Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism.  If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown

"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 11569
Date:

So sorry that you were a part of his circus for just a moment! I too believe you dodged a bullet and he under-estimated your own self-worth/self-esteem.

What a gift that one word sentence is - NO...... So glad you chose it.

As far as why? Because he's clearly not mature enough to understand what it means to have a caring, loving relationship. He may be a great guy deep down, but he's currently delusional in his approach to others.

Keep coming back here where we tend to reject the circus, the monkeys and all that comes with them!!

(((Hugs)))

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 295
Date:

Isn't it scary when you step back and look at their madness? Who, in their right mind, would ever suggest something like this? He can't even see how hurtful and awful he is being! Like he is doing you some favor...wow. I'm so glad that you were able to see him for who he is at this time...and said no, because you deserve to be someone's first choice. Sorry you had to go through this...hugs!

__________________


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 148
Date:

Thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughts. I appreciate it.

__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.