The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm not evensure where to start. I emotions have been running me crazy. I have been trying to attend a meeting in person as I have never attended on before; but it seems imposible to do with my schedule. I will be attending an online meeting tonight. I feel so lost I married an Acholic-Adict who I love dearly but I have decide that I can live in the madness no longer and threw him out after his last binge episode two weeks ago. Now he wants me back, I can no longer cope with his addiction issues. I told him he need to go to rehab before I would work on our marrige, he's agreeing with me but I cant trust that he is really going to go for help or just to try to get me back?
I am glad you are here. I have found a lot of comfort and peace with MIP and my face-to-face group.
What I found to be true for myself was that my wife would go through the motions of sobriety when I demanded it of her, but not drinking and going to counseling, etc. didn't do anything for her until she was ready, and I couldn't make her be ready.
It helped me to focus on myself and my program, detaching and deciding what I was going to do. Now, although I still have the emotional ups and downs, and things are far from easy or ideal, I am able to identify what I am thinking, feeling, and doing, and I am able to make better choices for me about what I am going to do. I don't know how the transition happened for me, I just know that it did, and continues to happen when I show up and work my program. Through my work in Alanon, I have been able to define my boundaries and change them when I need to, and I have been able to enforce adherence to my boundaries without being mean. The biggest challenge for me was (and remains) identifying what I want to do. One of the biggest gifts I can give myself is time to figure it out. I don't need to know right now, I get to change my mind if I want or need to, and deciding not to make a choice right now is also a decision.
I hope you keep coming back. You are not alone.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Welcome to MIP MT, the alcoholic has issues of addiction and we who live with their problems, develop our own set of emotional issues that can be best dealt with by working the program of Al-anon. Your fears and anxieties can be helped by attending meetings and working the 12-step program. You can do both here on this website. Please keep coming back to talk with us, because you are not alone.
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Of course you can't trust him. Why would you? We learn to watch actions, not listen to words. He can say whatever he wants, but you have to watch his actions. While he is figuring out what he wants, you should do the same. Take care of yourself. There is no one else that is looking out for you, except YOU!
I'm late to welcome you but wanted to do so any ways! Glad you are here and glad you are working to engage with this program.
The online meetings here are awesome - I hope you found that to be the case for you. If it wasn't what you wanted/expected, try again. Keep coming back and/or getting to any meeting you can and you will find the support you want/need to move forward.
You are not alone!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
