The material presented
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level.
As time drags on from deciding in done with this marriage, im finding ut harder and harder to go home, pkay nice and dake it. I feel my ah is manipulating me every step.of the way. HE had muktiple drunken sex encounters and was caught and yet serms entitled to still bully me and call the shots. He still refuses to.go to the div mediator and insists i "owe it to.our family to go to.counseling". .i told him i will only go if i can meet with her first and if it is undersyood that reconciliation is not on the table. I meet with a legal consulatant monday. Im terrified. I didnt want it to go this way but i ferl.hes going to push it. I didnt want a battle. Im being more than reasonable. I want him to agree to a sep agreement that stipulates child arrangement while we move through div process with a mediator. . And he fights me. . I just dont get it. . And hes also trying to.be father of the year and doing all dadfy daughter things all while drivibg a wedge between my daughter and myself. Im furious
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When all else fails...there is Faith, Hope and Prayer.
I think Hotrod gave you good advice. Dont even waste your time trying to understand. He is sick, nothing you can do about that. Your daughter probably knows and accepts his sicknesss for what it is. What about your sickness? what are you doing for you? to help get you better? thats what your daughter needs, a healthy thinking mum.
I think Hotrod gave you good advice. Dont even waste your time trying to understand. He is sick, nothing you can do about that. Your daughter probably knows and accepts his sicknesss for what it is. What about your sickness? what are you doing for you? to help get you better? thats what your daughter needs, a healthy thinking mum.
I think El-Cee hits on an important point too, expanding on Hotrod's. I have found that when I allow myself to get caught up in the choices and behaviors of others, which I have no control over, I turn over my serenity to them. I surrender my ability to make my own choices, and my behavior suffers. Every time I am confronted with choices and behaviors by the addicts in my life and find myself building resentments over them, I remind myself of the parable of the man sitting under a tree with a pigeon sitting in it, and getting mad at the pigeon when it does what pigeons do. He learns that his role is to check the tree for pigeons before he sits down and make his choices accordingly. That's how he takes care of himself, while still allowing the pigeon to carry on, doing what pigeon's do, with detachment from it.
El-cee has asked a good question. Believe it or not you are commander of your own destiny.
For me it seemed that as long as I still gave away my freedom to choose, my thinking remained conflicted and I still felt as though I was walking through treacle. I have to admit that I have used my husband's problems to stop me from taking responsibility for making the most of my own life.
The phrase I kept in mind was that it takes two to tango and I wasn't dancing to anyone else's tune anymore. Things start to get a little easier as we learn to take action and listen to our own truth. I know it is unfair, but it seems fairly natural that your husband will make it difficult for you to leave. Does accepting that help you to carve the path you want for yourself and your daughter?
I have a lovely card that I have kept on my desk for ten years that says 'what would you do today if you knew that you couldn't fail?' It helps me to identify what my choices are and the next best steps towards my goal.
