The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for November 5 speaks about examining our motives at all times. It points out, if we choose to speak up when something bothers us our motives for speaking will influence what we say and how we say.
if I speak because I feel it is the right action for me to take and because I have a need to express myself then the focus is on me. The listener's reaction becomes less important.
The thought for the day. Reminds us that, instead of aiming for results we should consider taking actions because they seem to be the right action for me.
The quote is from Martin Luther; "even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plans by Apple tree."
I have developed the fantastic habit of "checking my motives anytime I want to speak or act. It keeps me in check as I do not try to influence you or control you in the process. A win- win all around.
So difficult to do, I question my motives all the time. Just want to be very careful when I do speak up that I am not offending and that I have a right to speak up. Worry about being selfish and uncaring. Keeping my perspective about the present and not the future or past is a real help.
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Thanks Betty for the daily and the ESH. Debb - I agree - it's so difficult to do at times. I try to examine my motives, and carefully say what I mean, and then not expect how it may or may not go. What I am finding is that with each new 'thought', I need to repeat as I can start with the best intentions/motives and then middle of the discussion find myself considering or acting upon old habits.
It is so much easier to detach and to try and engage constructively for me with my qualifiers. This reading for me shows me I have some work to do in this area. My long term habits of self preservation do kick in when I feel overpowered or overshadowed....thank goodness I know I am a work in progress.
(((Hugs))) to all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
