The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Another newbie here! I have been looking through posts for the last 2 days and I was shocked to read "my story" from complete strangers. What a relief to know I am not alone. I often wonder why I just can't seem to let go of my A.
We started out as high school sweethearts and within a year after dating all he got was drunk and I got pregnant.(first best thing that happened to me) Like someone lit a fire under his butt he was out the door and I was left to raise my son. Sure he popped in and out for the first 5 years, then he moved out of state. We kept in touch via phone through out the years but we never came face to face. In 1999 I married another man and this time he was not an A...woohoo I thought! I was so unhappy with my new husband for many reasons. I again got pregnant and had my daughter.(second best thing that has happened to me) I stayed in my marriage "for my daughters sake" I said to my self...(First mistake) I was growing more and more unhappy with my relationship. My son was alienated by my new husband who was very jealous of my past and because I wanted so much for my life to be normal I stayed with my husband even though my son was suffering. I did not want my daughter to go through the same thing my son did not having a father. (another mistake) Then in 2000 I had came to a realization that I was living my life in a lie. I called my sons father (the A) and asked him to come and visit his son.(first time in in 3 years) He agreed and was on a plane the next week.
I found myself believing that he had quit drinking and I was still very much in love with him. Needless to say I left my husband for the A. 3 years later I am back on the rollercoaster and finding myself trying to get off!(no luck) He has been to rehab(to stay out of jail) He has done AA but nothing has worked. I have tried to help by researching his disease and by being there. (Still no luck) It is so hard because I love the self but not the A!
So there it is the basics of my story and I am so glad to be able to get that off my chest! I am here looking for my strength and for friends to share with. I think I have found what I have so desperately been looking for.
Hello, myst, I hope you will find a good face to face meeting and a sponsor who can help you work the Steps. The Steps are what change our lives! It is an amazing thing to hear your story told by someone else. But the best thing is the miracles that happen when you work the steps. Your life will begin to change, because you will really be taking care of yourself for the first time. Good luck to you, myst. Blessings, mebjk
I admire you for having the strength to leave the relationship that felt like a lie.
It sounds like you love your A very deeply.
I don't have any words of wisdom, but I can offer this: you are not alone. Thank you for sharing your story. I pray you will find the answers you seek.
I hope to read more of your posts in the future....
Welcome. While the details of our stories might differ, they all have the same basic plot. We are all here because we love our A's and we want them to get better.
__________________
Just concentrating on getting through one day at a time.
Hi Myst welcome from Australia. Here we will help you to get through all the struggles and take care of your own needs first. Focus on the positives of you as a person. Luv Leo xx
