The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am the only guy in the f2f meetings I have gone to. That doesn't bother me as right now I am just a sponge for information and help. They could be big red and green martians for all I care.
My question is: Is my being there inhibiting anyone? I know you are not there, but in your experience, would it? There are only 6-7 people there 4 of us are really new. 2 of them are there because their husbands are A's and one because of kids/grandkids.
I live in an area where there are meetings everywhere (guess we have a big problem down here... LOL), I go to this one because it is at noon. Just wanting to be a good citizen.
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
I have been going to f2f meetings for awhile now and usually men are the minority. I actually enjoy having them to break up the femimine monotony! So no it does not inhibit me at all or anyone that I have talked to. It actually helps to hear the men having the same issues as women. Reinforces the fact that it is the disease not the sex of the people involved.
I absolutely agree with Julia. Having a man at a meeting, even if only one, gives the meeting a feeling and dimension it would not otherwise have. At my meeting in Utah there were 5 or 6 women and 1 man. He shed a different light on a lot of things, and gave us another perspective. Inhibiting? No. In varying degrees, we are all in the same boat. Feel welcome! Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
One of my meetings only has one man in it. He is an older gentleman and his Wife has passed on. It does not inhibit me or any of us at all. He gives us a different perspective of things.
I know even here, hearing the mens side of things can help. Sometimes it is not about the alcohol. Alcoholism can just intensify, normal issues between spouses. Sometimes a man's perspective is helpful.
I feel that you are getting some great feedback to your question.
I myself attend many meetings, and some of them have men, some of them don't, one of my meetings has quite a few guys. I have always benifited from listening to their shares. Pain is pain, and it unites us all.
Much Love,
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
I seriously doubt your being there is inhibiting anyone. I've seen guys at a few of the meetings I go to and their presense never made me feel uncomfortable in any way.
We're all there for the same reasons........to overcome the affects anothers drinking/drugging has had on our lives. We're all on the same side so I dont believe male/female makes any difference.
Just my opinion.
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Kathy S --
~*I trust my Higher Power that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in my life today.*~
So glad u found a meeting for yourself , don't u worry about intimidating anyone inyour meetings , they are there for the same reason u are they love an alcoholic the feelings are the same . Keep going and focus on your own needs. We had one male member in our meetings for 3 yrs as more men came around he said he didn't like sharring his women friends hehe. So enjoy hehe
We have one regular man, and couple of others who drop by now and then. Like the others, I feel it adds a good extra dimension to the meetings - makes it so clear that this disease can happen to anybody.
We have one man who is a regular at my f2f meeting. He's actually one of our most vocal members. We also have a few other guys who pop in now and then. It's interesting to hear things from a male point of view. Don't worry...just keep going!
Wow! We women really show up to tell the men that they are ok! I've been in Alanon for years now, and usually men are in the minority, but it is one of the few places on earth that levels the playing field for women and men, in my humble opinion. If you need us, then we need you! mebjk
We also have one man in our group , a regular, and others that come and go. We dont look at him differently, as alanon is a special group of "people"that have been brought together by a common bond, we have all been affected by anothers drinking. So in saying that , keep going, you are doing this for "yourself " and no body else. One day at a time....................
