The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Good morning Debb - hope you are feeling better today than yesterday!!
For me and my program, I have to let go of the past and all resentments IF I want peace/serenity for today. It sounds so simple and yet it can be so hard. However, I don't consider it optional. When I am stuck with my focus on events, words, actions, or other from past events, my mind & heart tend to harden and close to new learning and new experiences. I've been there so often in the past that it is a place I do everything I can to avoid today.
I am so grateful that Al-Anon has given me tools to release those resentments and live in the moment of this day, and a whole way of living that is based on being grateful and doing the next right thing. Learning how to forgive another without a formal apology has been a huge step for me on taking care of business before it becomes a resentment.
I have come to believe that most things that I feel are done 'to me' are not 'about me' at all. I do not think anybody gets up in the morning, and considers what they can do to cause me pain, worry, anger today. It is how I perceive people and their actions that makes it 'about me' - not their intent or actions. I am so glad this program taught me to pause and process productively and positively instead of through the distortion of this disease.
(((Hugs))) to you for healing and happy Saturday back @ ya!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Morning IAH, and everyone! This flu has definitely knocked the wind out of my sails! The cough is horrible. Started last Sunday, the day my daughter moved, of course there was lots to do and I did not stop to take care of myself. During the week off, my car's check engine light went on, one of our cats got very sick and had to take her to the vet, we are in the middle of having the walk out (bilco doors) replaced on the house, I had a couple of planned doctor's appts. that I had been putting off till this time off. So I am feeling a wee bit stressed, tired and sick of coughing (not getting enough sleep). This too shall pass.
-- Edited by Iamhere on Sunday 31st of January 2021 01:09:15 PM
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Hello Debie, Great topic I found that working the Steps helped to remove old stored up resentments that I could never have wished away or removed on . Working the 10th Step each day, helps me to identify when I am holding on to the anger and blaming others. I can then quickly examine my motives, my part, admit it and make amends.
What a powerful program this is. I have no room in my heart for stored up anger--- Serenity is too pleasant.
Oh this is a good one for me today. I woke up angry. My 6 yr old was pushing my buttons and I let her and responded to each push with anger. I was locked in a battle....with a six year old! Thankfully my AH offered to take her out for a while to give me time to calm down. I felt like such a failure but I agreed since I was just making everyone miserable. So I laid in bed trying to think about where all this anger is coming from. I think I am angry and resentful of my AH. Recently he's been cutting back on his drinking. He's been more kind and attentive and he's been working on our marriage for the first time in a long time. And instead of accepting it I've found myself more and more angry. Thinking things like "why couldn't he have done this years ago?" I know none of that thinking is helpful but it's there. So today I am working through that and I am going to take the advice from here and focus on a gratitude list instead. Thank you for the post it couldn't come at a better time.
