The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety and started having panic attacks,again.It has been a while since I have had them.I started thinking about loss and grief and it does make sense that anxiety would be one of the stages.Although it isn't listed on the stages of grief,I did some research and most people do experience anxiety and even panic attacks after losing someone the love.I feel so tired,I am loaded with school work and dealing with running a home,being a mom and caring for pets.I feel like I just need to stop,just stop and relax,but I don't have that option right now.I would probably feel worse if I didn't have school,it would be too much time on my hands.I will say the last time I saw my therapist she was asking me if maybe I was staying so busy so I wouldn't have to deal with my feelings?I was also reading that sometimes when people do have anxiety after the death of a loved one it is because they are stuffing some of the feelings down and they come out as fear.Honestly I feel like I have been trying to control my grief over the loss of my ex in a lot of ways,I think I am afraid to really feel the complete pain of it.I am afraid to really feel it and I think it is causing my anxiety.I honestly feel like I could sob for days.
((Mary)) sharing the pain and fear serves to reduce it in size and eventually it will diminish. I have found that it is true that the only way to handle the pain is to walk with it and through it. Own it , share about it. feel it and walk with it trusting HP -- There is no avoiding it by going around, over , or under it . being busy it usually a blessing unless it is all pretend make work stuff.
Be kind and gentle to yourself You are not alone.
Hey Mary - so sorry you are revisiting/experiencing panic attacks - I am certain it's your body's way of dealing with the loss and your grief. I am a huge writer and tend to process best in black and white. I have always been a visual learner so it makes perfect sense (to my brain) that when I write, I process better....
I believe that grieving is a process, and like most processes there are forward and backward steps. I've had a few losses that were much more difficult to process than others and as Betty says, I just had to walk with it and eventually I was able to focus on the happier times with the person who left this earth.
My point - don't feel bad if you regress - it is part of the healing. At least it was for me. I am sorry for your continued pain but am proud of you for sharing your truth....you are processing and that to me is a positive step forward in your grieving.
We are here for you! (((Hugs)))
PS - Betty - love you new photo with the PEANUTS!!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
My experience with grief has been that it is never a smooth process. Some days are ok and some are not so good. Sometimes weeks could go by and I could carry on quite normally then the smallest thing seemed to derail me. Being busy did help, but also being mindful to get rest and to treat myself gently and sharing with close friends helped. Hugs to you.
I have suffered with anxiety and panic attacks since i was 16[ im now 58]. I do believe that stuffing feelings in cause the body to react and the panic/anxiety comes out. Give yourself a break so u can heal from your complicated loss. Sometimes talking to a netural person helps my prespective[ clergy, counselor, maybe your school has a social worker?]
