The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Lovely share Miss Debb! Thank you for your service and your ESH.
I can readily say that when I saw the post topic, I had no twinge. That's a newer response for me than before! I've always carried a bit of guilt as I've often felt I failed my boys since they both ended up with addiction/alcoholism. When 2 for 2 go down the path of insanity, you wear it, feel it, live it and hate it while loving them and trying to do the next right thing.
It took me a long while and extensive step work with my sponsor to own and believe that I did the best I could. I can't own their path, their journey, their choices nor their actions - no matter how it looks.
So today, just for today, I feel no more guilt. My HP has relieved me of the bondage of guilt when I surrendered and admitted I am powerless.
Thank you Al-Anon for the ability to learn from my past and not dwell on it. So very grateful to find the ability to be at peace and stay in the present!!
Happy Sunday back @ ya girl!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Well call me Huck Finn...my most pronounced shortcoming is my ability to become Van Gough when it comes to the ability to "whitewash it with self-justification and self-righteousness." It's an automatic response I have to fight (and often loose). One thing I know is that I did NOT do the best I could. I did wrong, knew I was doing wrong and went ahead and did it anyway--which is where that ability to whitewash and justify comes in handy..on occasion. I seldom truly feel guilty..but when I do I am quick to go all out with amends. My concern is that I do not feel "guilty" enough perhaps..when I should...
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IF you can not be a good example; then you will just have to be a horrible warning
Detachment is truly one of the most useful al-anon tools, it allows us to mind our own business and leave the A in the hands of their HP. Ergo ... we admit we are powerless and stop controlling what we cannot. We did not cause the alcoholism nor can we cure it, we therefore have nothing to feel guilty for .... we have successfully remove ourselves from the chaos and drama by not interacting, again, we have nothing to feel guilty about. One step at a time! Ultimate goal is peace, serenity and integrity for everyone involved.
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
