In my immediate family I'm the only one who isn't an alcoholic. I noticed my mom's drinking habits becoming serious after many people in our family had passed away, especially my grandmother. Her drink of choice is rum and coke. My mom and I used to do everything together and go out all the time. Now all my mom wants to do is sit at home and drink. She has cancelled plans with me saying that she's too tired or busy, but it's so she can drink. She drinks before work, and drinks all day/night after work. Her days off are the worst because she drinks from morning until night. The earliest I have heard her drink is 7am. I cringe hearing the noise of a pop can opening because I've been hearing it multiple times a day for the past few years. The amount of rum bottles in our recycling box is scary. Talking to her is sometimes like talking to a brick wall...she won't remember what I told her the night before and I constantly have to repeat myself.

My dad also has a love for alcohol. He drinks beer every day. He also likes to hide Rye in the garage and have sips of that thinking I don't know. You can always tell when he's had something stronger because he becomes tipsy and starts to slur. He will pass out on the couch because of drinking. He's had his share of stumbles and falls because of his drinking. My dad's problem isn't so bad, especially because he mostly drinks after work and won't get drunk enough until he goes to bed. But the weekends are always ruined because he has the time to drink all day. There have been several times where I was the one having to drive because he had too much to drink. Sometimes I don't always want to drive.

My brother is the last person who has followed in my parent's footsteps. He enjoys drinking almost anything, especially straight from the bottle if it's rye, rum, or vodka. He blames his alcoholism on my parents. Yet it can't be true because i'm not an alcoholic. He's caused many fights and disruptions in the house because of his drinking, where he becomes aggressive and angry. At least he can admit he has a problem.

Then there's me. I'm fortunate enough to not be an alcoholic. I've learned from my parents and brother that drinking isn't the way to solve problems. I've also seen their paths and don't want myself to turn down that same path. Sometimes their drinking makes me so mad that I feel like I should become like them, but I know I can't and have to be better. I hate that they've now made me at-risk of becoming an alcoholic. I hate that they've put me in this position to witness their drunk selves. I hate that I feel like I can't have people over in fear that my parents will be drunk and embarrassing. I hate feeling alone and different because I'm not an alcoholic. I hate feeling like I should be responsible to help them and be the one to save them. I hate the fact that they are putting their health at risk and slowly killing themselves. Sometimes I want to get rid of all the alcohol in the house just to see their reaction, but I know it won't work because they'll just buy more. I can't express how selfish alcoholics are and how much mental pain I've been through because of alcoholics. The worst part is that they know their drinking bothers me but they don't change their habits anyways. Even if it were significantly less drinks a day I would be pretty happy and proud of them. My friends tell me that I should hold them an intervention. But it's not that simple. I can't force them to seek help. I'm stuck in this trap of "should I help them or wait until they've hit rock bottom?"