The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I had a counselling session today and it was very much like taking an emotional bath, with years of dirt to scrub off. While neccesary and good, it does feel a little raw. I guess I want to share a bit of my letting go process. What I've come to realise is, I didn't even know what I was carrying. And I think its amazing that we can do that as human beings, carry something for so long, not even knowing what it is. Living with hurt is a mind and heart and soul altering experience, and I really pray and hope right now, that the person its made me, is temporary. Angry, angry, fearful, angry.....and swimming in a confused longing state of hurt underneath. I do believe we have clues in our lives as to where the bleed is, usually the places anger tries to scare us out of, where fear keeps a tight grip of the door handle. I'm grateful to have started the cleanse, going to hand my battered self over to a loving warm higher power.
This was a beautiful share and one I can completely relate to. I was in counseling for 3 years along with working my recovery program and those things combined have helped release me from my anger to the point where I find compassion for those who are suffering from addiction or codependency. I am still fearful of many things but I find it easier now to identify it and to work through it, instead of burying my head in the sand in denial wondering why I was always feeling so crappy. Emotional healing has helped turn my wounds into scars that are healing or have completely healed, even. And, for that I'm so grateful.
Thank you for sharing.
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Emotional pain is brutal. I struggle with mine
To do with my xah. Its getting easier as i heal.
My drug and alcohol therapist has been great
Along with alanon and divorce care. I still go
To all three.
I have anger and rage toward xah, Thats
okay because thats honestly where i am
At. I have already forgiven him and myself
and handed him Over to God to deal with.
Detaching from the my AH has been such a blessing and am so grateful for Al-anon and the peace that I have been able to experience. I was such a basketcase for so long ... over 13 years of verbal abuse and working and re-working those 12-steps have helped me personally so much. Wishing you the same peace a41. {{HUGS}}
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
a4l - thank you for your share - how grand for you to stand in your truth and be willing and able to shed that which pains you from the past. Hang in there and keep doing what you're doing - it sounds very healing!! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
While i was grieving I had massive healing, growing and facing
Of truths. What a roller coaster of emotions amd feelings came
And went. God was holding my hand giving me courage and
strength to bear the pain. I still am grieving to some degree
It takes time. I am still being very patient, loving and gentle
with myself. Self love and self care are my new best friends.
I love the thought of you putting down some of the pain. I suspect it's long overdue.
(((A41)))
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
