The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i have recently left the family home 3 weeks ago to stop enabling my partner. It's a journey now to see how far he has to go to hit rock bottom. It's been a very tough ride for the past year !
Em280672, welcome to MIP! Glad you found us and shared. It would good for you if you could join a face to face Al-anon meeting in your locality .... http://al-anon.org/local-meetings .. you will get information and support that will help you on your own journey to recovery. Wishing you well and hope you continue to come back here to talk with us.
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Good for you. It is so hard to see them hit rock bottom but I feel it happens faster once you stop enabiling them. Welcome to the Board. You will find a lot of support here. I also agree with Debb, face-2-face meetings are also very important at this time in your recovery. Sending you positive thoughts and tons of prayers.
Hi Jazzie
Thank you for your comments and yes there is a lot of support in here. I have spent most of the day reading through lots and it's so nice to know others experience exactly the same and that you are not going nuts! It's comforting actually! For me personally I worry how low he has to go to hit rock bottom, is it losing the house? The business has already gone, or will his organs/body fail before he realises! We have lots of medical issues with liver, spleen, eosaphagus varcise, fluid etc. He's been told over and over he will die if he doesn't stop but it just doesn't seem to register. It's heartbreaking!
so relate, my ah was holed up in a motel for 16 days and now he managed to get home and has been continuing his downward spiral path[ the weakness,dizziness, extremely low nutrients because he wont eat plus a severely [ick alert] cut up tongue and bruises . That doesnt count on the lack of comphrension etc the mental thing
bills are due, his boss/brother to be dealt with,cats need litter. hell, i would do it my self but i dont drive,ah's car has puffer, no buses here. Im so sick of asking favors from my neighbor
I admit that although i sound strong, im really scared to leave. it is such a big undertaking but i dont have kids so that is one less worry. Im not getting anyway here, holed up with him
first things first..gotta get a hold of some funds im waiting for, find a place,move, job..ohhhh is that all? CA is so expensive to live in and too many people . looks like to afford a place,have to be far from only support now[bro in law]
Ok..you survived my pity pot..sooo sorry guys....
i am packing my things, doing housework and researching places to live,etc Im so spoiled,funny how much u can put in a house lol. I keep purging items, donating and gifting things away
hey, any body need anything LOL Serenity prayer is my daily, no hourly friend
Hi Em, I just want to say I hear you on the medical issues and the A not following doctor's advice. What helped me was when I started not trying to go it alone, accepting help from wherever I could, not feeling embarrssed because I could not control his choices. Alanon and a sponsor were a godsend for keeping my sanity. Take comfort in knowing that others have walked the same path you are on, and come out stronger and happier.
Thanks free time for your reply helps so much to know I am not alone ! I thought nobody would ever understand what I was going through until I joined today, it has been so comforting!
Em280672 - I too welcome you to MIP - glad you found us and glad you shared.
So so sorry for what has brought you here - this disease is dreadful and progressive. My hope is you learn how to live and be happy no matter what he is or is not doing!
Keep coming back and shout with other questions.
My input - a sponsor is someone who is working the program (usually 1 year of more) and will be your contact for issues, questions, insanity, advice, ESH (experience strength and hope). They will advise you on how to approach the steps, how to work them, work them with you and kind of mentor you in the program.
Hope that helps!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
