The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
1st of al I tried to not complain for over a week. But my Ah called me on it even though I thought I was doing so well. He was my main stumbling block as he didn't know that I was working on this. I just want to say that even when I am actually improving something gets in the way.
I believe I have real growth since the beginning of this wonderful year started.
I want to give myself credit for how I have changed so far. I actually feel that I am doing the right things daily & want to continue.
Keep following on this journey w me. I really need you all.
Kathleen
Kathleen, you know you are growing and making progress. If your AH is calling you out on anything at this time, it is time to detach and not allow him to drag you down.
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
(((Hugs))) to you - you are growing, I see it and am glad to be on this journey with you!
I too was up for your challenge and really did quite well until this morning. Perhaps I need to amend my future challenges to one/two small whining sessions per day because this morning, I kind of 'stepped in it' big time. Oh well - it's not the first time my son and his pregnant wife are upset with me and won't be the last. All I did was try to say my truth as nicely as possible. Apparently this can backfire when dealing with A(s) and hormonal MTB (moms-to-be)....
Anyways, when my qualifiers come 'at me' with feedback, their method is often offensive to me. After all, they are viewing the world, which includes me, through a distorted lens. So - I tend to try and ignore the method of delivery but instead the meaning. I listen actively if it makes sense and like in meetings, take what I like and leave the rest. Believe it or not, there are times where what they intended to say is spot on - i.e. I am too sensitive, I am projecting, I am worrying beyond my scope, etc.
So, look at them as just another avenue of potential helpful information. If it applies, great. If it's needless babble, great. Surely can't hurt is the way I look at it....
Keep working it - I know that as I get better and stronger there are times where they resent me because I choose to avoid the drama/chaos and they don't know how to....might this be part of your experience? Just offering that too!! The program looks great on you!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
