The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I hate this disease. I work as a manager of a small group of programmers. One of my best ones left, so I have hired a new one on contract to see how he works out. Smart guy, pretty productive, great attitude, fun to work with, everything. So far he has had two bouts of illness, from 2-3 days to a week. After the second bout, and having talked to him on the phone in the middle of it, I started to suspect he is an A.
This morning he didn't show up, sent me a text apologizing around 9, saying he would be in and is catching up on emails now. He replied to the same email three times, with each reply being more bizarre than the last. Talked to him, and I'm pretty sure he is drunk.
I let his contract company know. I didn't say he was drunk, just said he didn't sound entirely lucid, since that is the only evidence I have.
I'm so sad, another good guy that I can't do anything about, and likely won't be able to hire, and probably won't know what happens to him because I likely won't hear from him again.
Awwww Kenny, I am truly sorry to hear this news. Alcoholism is such an unforgiving disease, that at times like this, truly makes us realize that there is no control, cure or cause.
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
(((Kenny))) - huge hugs to you and so very sorry for your pain. I completely understand your sadness as we know what he may not - that this disease is progressive and fatal if not arrested.
It's so sad to know that is a real possibility when we meet a young, smart, promising person who we suspect has this disease.
Take care of you and detach as best you can!
Thoughts and prayers your way!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I had to let him go today. He came in impaired. If I hadn't seen it in my wife, I would have just thought something weird was going on, but having seen it, I knew exactly what was going on. I hate it, he's a good guy. Had to use our tools to be able to do something about it, I just didn't want the drama, but I have to have a bit of drama to keep from having more drama.
Does it make you wish you didn't know what you do?
I am involved in a local community group and we have a facebook page where we share ideas etc. Recently one of the members posted a really off the wall manifesto about how her husband had left and she had nothing to live for that ended with "my life is ending tonight". All of the members went nuts, messaging her family members and calling police and it turned into the most insane saga with the police going to her house.
It was obvious to me from the first line of her manifesto that she was drunk and hurting and would be very embarrassed in the morning. I felt so protective and sad for her as you seem to be feeling for this guy. But I couldn't protect her from her actions any more than you can protect this guy. Still, I felt it so personally...I felt responsible because I recognised the signs when no-one else did?
The funny thing is, reading your post i feel sad for the guy and find myself hoping he gets some help for himself. Maybe you got him a step closer to that.
Hugs (((Kenny)))
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Yeah, I know what you mean Melly. I've had something similar, though not quite so dramatic, happen a couple of times now. This education that life gives us, it gives us heartaches sometimes. I guess that's good, it's made our hearts grow, where there might otherwise be anger, panic, embarrassment, etc?
He is on contract with my company, so I told the contractor I was concerned and I hope that they would be interested in getting him help if he was interested in getting it for himself.
