The material presented
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
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Hi everyone As I reported a short time ago my favorite alanon Step and tradition meetinhas been experiencing problems with our Meeting room availability at the VA. I did resolve the alanon meeting room issue to the satisfaction of all concerned, so I can really relax when I go on vacation.
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C2C reading for October 3 speaks about compassion. It explains that compassion is not seeking revenge, holding a grudge, name-calling, screaming and throwing things in anger.. It points out that as the result of living with the disease of alcoholism ,many of us do these destructive reactions frequently before coming into program and developing new tools. I can identify
Learning compassion, in the beginning was simply by working on eliminating such behavior.
Compassion, starts with the recognition that we are dealing with a sick person who sometimes exhibited symptoms of the disease. We don't have to take it personally when the disease appear. You're have no right to punish anyone for being sick. . Today's reminder suggests that we will spend more time with ourselves in this lifetime and with anybody else. It is important to learn to be kind of person I would like to ask a friend.
Quote is from SR Hole; "He who would have beautiful roses in his garden must have beautiful roses in his heart."
Thanks Al-Anon for giving me the tools to plant many roses in my heart
I am leaving for my cruise to Bermuda, so will not connect again until a week from Monday Keep on Keeping on and remember , Program is lived One day at a time and a week without meetingsmakes one" weak"-
They have open AA meetings on the ship each morning so I plan to attend
Talk when I return
-- Edited by hotrod on Saturday 3rd of October 2015 07:16:09 AM
One of the things I am learning in alanon is about compassion. I used to feel so entitled to my anger, resentment, and unloving attitude towards my A. With detachment, and all the other tools, I am learning to have a compassionate but detached relationship. Is it an ideal marriage? Hell no! Do I wish it was different? Of course. Have I thought about leaving? Many times. The future will unfold, I no longer obsess about it, and all I have to do is take ODAT and work my program. By the way, it's working! Lyne
Enjoy, enjoy and enjoy some more! My hope is you have the best vacation possible! I too thank you for all you do.
I can remember being so blinded by anger when I arrived at Al-Anon. I was angry at my AH and both of my A sons as well as my HP (God). I truly did not see a way out of the hell I called my life.
Slowly by attending meetings, reading literature, working the steps and talking with my sponsor, enough of my anger was lifted so that I could remember why I was with this man in the first place. He truly was an awesome partner, friend, spouse, etc. when we met & married. It was the disease that changed him, and obviously not for the good. With learning and practice, empathy slowly replaced anger. With boundaries and detachment, I was able to separate the disease from the person.
It's been harder with my sons as there is a part of me (mom) that wonders still if I did everything I could to help them and lead them. When I think this way, it's a circle of thinking that ends always with the same outcome - they're now adults and are making choices that they own. They were not raised to be mean, hateful, selfish, self-centered, etc. So - it is the disease (again) which has changed them. I remain hopeful for a better life without expectations and pray for them daily.
I love the quote! We have a rose garden here and my AH spends more time and energy with it than with us (family). But, it's OK as I love the roses too. I know it is a place he can go and see beauty beyond his suffering with this disease.
(((Hugs))) to all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I started out with lots of anger about things that I could not even verbalize. I didn't know why, I just knew I was angry. Through the program I learned to detach. Tonight I had a discussion with the hubby that makes me realize that he doesn't like my detaching one bit. He wants the old me back that will be like the "old days". I know that my detachment is better for me but not so good for others around me. They are used to me being there to clean up the messes. Instead, I point out the messes that I won't clean up and let them know that the mess is still there.
I know I can have empathy and still be able to detach, but I don't know how to get there. I just know I have to protect myself and I am counting on my HP. I don't want to be sad and then angry again.
. It points out that as the result of living with the disease of alcoholism ,many of us do these destructive reactions frequently before coming into program and developing new tools. I can identify