So a couple of days ago I mentioned some stories about how my brain works or doesn't work and how easy it is for me to be very impulsive. 

My first story is about my first X who had issues with drugs.  After my X and I had our altercation, and afterwards he tried to scare me into coming back .. I was staying with my mom and he would threaten me in terms of he would call my mom's where I was staying and tell me he was coming up there and going to do something.  Thankfully both men I married suffer with a lot of talk and very little action.  I was actually more scared of my 2nd X because my 1st one was had more sense and was to lazy in terms of access. 

So I didn't have a car and we were filing taxes, which went into his bank account.  I knew for some reason .. just knew that the money was there and he had it .. of course he didn't do what he was suppose to do .. lol .. shocking I know .. I needed my 1/2 of the money for a down payment on a car.  When we went to the bank he didn't have it all and I needed the majority .. so I went and he wanted to give me a ride .. now stupid me actually accepted the ride from him because the bus had stopped running or something along that lines.  I could tell he was desperate .. thankfully there were people waiting for me so I was on a time limit.  So he started playing with my hair talking about let's take a drive to the mountains .. LOL .. ummm .. NOOOOOO .. there is NO way I'm going to the mountains with a crazy person, not to mention who knows he used to carry a concealed weapon in the car he drove .. thank you NO.  He was going on about how he missed me, how great it would be if we could just get back together, blah blah blah .. LOL .. I was literally pressed all the way against the car door and if I needed to I could jump out.  I was literally planning my exit.  I had to laugh .. when we got to the destination because his nasty personality came out when he realized he wasn't going to get his way and he squealed away in the car and I swear I knew never, ever to put myself in that kind of situation again .. ever .. with anyone least of all someone in an altered state of mind.

UGH, .. that was very scary.  That's a God thing for me in terms of staying safe and walking away .. no one should ever put themselves into those kinds of situations because you may or may not walk away from it.  I got lucky and I have zero doubt if he had gotten his way and I caved because this time was going to be different .. it really wasn't going to be. 

My other one was more comical and I have probably shared it .. this is my fight or flight mode.  I'm at the airport, can't remember why .. dressed up .. 3 illegals were trying to hot wire a car .. no problem with people coming to make a living and doing the best they can .. however .. breaking the law in that way just really bugs me .. it makes it harder on people and it shouldn't.  So I'm screaming at them .. they run .. I run after them and then it gets comical .. there go 3 guys, me in my heels and looking nice .. then the security guards after me chasing us all .. LOL.  The guards caught up with me and the illegals got away .. one guy turns to me and says .. exactly what were you going to do when you caught them .. and that had been a girlfriends response who I told the story to .. I was reminded after sharing my bad old day stories with my daughter .. LOL.  Anyway, I turned to the security guy .. and said I don't know I hadn't gotten that far yet.  Which seems to be a pattern to my life .. LOL. 

Anyway, point there again a God thing although I think I was covered they were probably much more scared of me than I was of them because of the fact that if they got caught they would have been a whole lot more trouble than me. 

THINK THINK THINK before putting life and limb in jeopardy.  So if in an abusive relationship DO NOT think things will stay the same, do not expect rational behavior out of them or you, because it's been so out of control for so long it takes a while to get back to a sense of norm.  I'm at 3 1/2 years of my XAH being away from his direct insanity.  Divorced only for a year almost and I'm just now finding my own groove which will dip and rise .. I just want the rollercoaster of life not to dictate my decisions, I want to allow the rollercoaster without adding to the twist and turns. 

Hugs all .. no relationship or person is worth the trade off of ones own life. 

S :)