After the recent death of my ex due to an overdose I have been going through a big range of emotions,I was starting to go into a depression, so I started writing in my journal and really started  processing what happened,I had to look at the truth or drive myself crazy.I was feeling like there was more I could have done,but in the end he made his own choices, and one choice led to another and another until his death.He chose to leave a stable home for a girl who used heroin,I didn't do that,he chose to pursue the drug while trying to get me to take him back,I protected myself,I have the right to do that.One phone call could have changed the path he was on,one decision could have made the difference,but that was up to him,not me.As for me,I did choose recovery,I did choose life and I deserve to live it and be happy.While I am sad that he died,I no longer feel guilt or blame myself.I have a decision to make now,I have a life and a family that loves me and I am going to make the most of it.I choose life.