The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi everyone. I am struggling today. As noted in my last post recovering alcoholic BF broke up with me very abruptly on Friday, and I have not heard from him since. This has been an extremely painful last few days. I dropped his things off at his parents house today and had a heart to heart with his father. I have grown so close to his family over the past year, and this goodbye was especially painful.
I am trying to hard to stay busy. I am a nurse, and filled out some new job applications; spent some time with family; went to a therapy appointment. I've been reading about codependency; I even reached out to some old friends from nursing school and set up a lunch date. All of these tasks are a distraction from the pain, but the distractions are so fleeting. I have these negative thoughts on a loop in my head; Overwhelming anxiety, exhaustion. Worst of all I am looking to others for false reassurance that I will hear from my ex BF.
I have been through a painful breakup (of 6 years) before. I went through all of these same restless feelings, and eventually they passed. I want to believe this will be the case this time. I just miss my BF so much, and and can't believe that a week ago we were sleeping next to each other. I don't know how to stop obsessing over this. I know it will take time. I just feel like I need some kind of closure. Something from him; something that I may never get.
I am so sorry that you are having such a terrible time with this break up. Alcoholics thrive on chaos/drama, which is a clear indication of immaturity. I can't help thinking that he did you a huge favor RS. Be gentle on yourself, give it time, work the al-anon program and continue with your therapy. I get the feeling that you are going to be the big winner after all is said and done!!! {{HUGS}}
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Alanon meetings wil help greatly at this time. I learned to accept that I was powerless over others, so that if I felt that I needed closure on a relationship , it was up to me to pick up new tools to make that happen within me.
Alanon tools restored my self esteem, self worth and ability to feel my feelings so as to validate myself.
Huge (((Hugs))) to you. I know it's raw right now, but this too shall pass.
I think you did a great job with self-care today. Just keep doing for you one day at a time, one step at a time.
You are not alone - we're all here for you! I believe as Betty suggests an Al-Anon meeting would be a great idea.
Take care of you and let HP take care of the rest!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hi everyone. I am struggling today. As noted in my last post recovering alcoholic BF broke up with me very abruptly on Friday, and I have not heard from him since. This has been an extremely painful last few days. I dropped his things off at his parents house today and had a heart to heart with his father. I have grown so close to his family over the past year, and this goodbye was especially painful.