The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi Debb, this is indeed a powerful slogan. When I first heard it, I thought for sure I had this down pat and it did not apply to me. I truly believed I had an "open mind", was very compassionate understanding and willing to allow others their point of view.
This was all true on the outside. When I began to keep the focus on myself, examined my motives, I discovered that I did not have an "open mind". I believed my opinions, attitudes and actions were all right and that others completely mistaken in their beliefs.
Keeping an open mind took practice. As with many of Al-Anon tools, I began attempting to do so in Al-Anon meetings. Not being able to give advice or cross talk, really had a benefit. I had to just sit there and listen. Eventually the A NTS(automatic negative thoughts) diminished or stopped and I was able to let new information in, without judging, criticizing, blaming. What a gift that truly is.
Today, in all different types of meetings, and relationships. I practice this powerful tool. I am then able to be more spontaneous, and reflective.
I also thought I had an open mind. I learned differently as I did my step work. So many of my character defects seemed to be magnified by my ever-lasting desire/need/fixation with being right and getting the last word in. I also used to think that I knew a ton about a variety of things. While I am very, very smart, it is in the humility brought to me by this disease and program that taught me all that I knew was not enough.
I have learned from every program person I met, more at times from those newer than I. I believe in keeping an open mind and I've fought the desire to isolate and hide from the disease by doing different things than before. I know that I can't play softball forever so I'm trying new things. This was not a path I would have taken without this program; I wouldn't have a Plan B for social/recreational things when I need to retire.
So - Keep an Open Mind for me applies well beyond this program. It's a life-changing slogan that has served me well.
(((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
