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I'm really having a moment today and this has bothered me all weekend .. it's always harder when I'm in more of a panic regarding money.
My XAH has decided he doesn't need to pay the State .. he is to pay the County .. what that translates to is him saving 16$ a week because he has to pay through the State. NEVER mind that he brought this on himself .. LOL .. after all he decided to not just pay at all for 4 weeks.
He actually sent a text that had the line in it .. he only needed to worry about sending the money it was my problem when I received it .. that wasn't the exact quote however pretty dam close to it. He really believes that he's covered .. what he's going to find out is that NO he's not .. he's paying the county and not the State .. in the wording of the agreement it states he is to pay the State.
So come Monday I'm asking my atty to take some kind of action regarding it.
I'm beyond done at the moment, Athena is rearing her head and she is very, very hungry for blood. So if he insists .. there is already a game play in place to deal with him. I will be picking my teeth with his bones.
I really can't believe that he's choosing to be like this considering he knows my situation. The money he paid on 9/14 I will not receive until 10/?, it's going to my old address. By the time I get it if I put it in the bank here there will be another 7 day hold on it. Now that it's going to the county it means it will be sent to the State thank GOD I called them and then there will be another 7 day hold on it because they can take that long to get me my funds. They had a change in policy which I am calling BS on big time. So thankfully it came up that my atty has court on Monday and she is stopping to pick up the check and I'm having her deposit it directly to my account if that's possible if not I may have a friend of mine do so .. we'll see if they can release it. Seriously .. you have got to be kidding.
He doesn't want to hear from me unless there is an emergency with the kids? Umm .. feeding them apparently isn't his issue. LOL .. what a jack ass. WOW .. I'm very angry and I'm venting .. I'm just horrified that this is how he thinks and NO things have not changed and I got that message loud and clear from the God of my understanding .. just keep doing what I'm doing because he is not going to be there and he will do everything to make things harder .. the he being the XAH.
Sorry for the vent .. I'm just beyond amazed at his stupidity.
Hugs S :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
The best thing in your posting is the letter X. I'm glad you have an attorney. Can they garnish his pay so you don't have to wait for him to decide when to send it? That's what my DD did when the jerk couldn't remember to send the lousy $50.
-- Edited by laurab on Sunday 20th of September 2015 02:20:21 PM
If I posted the coversation .. My eye balls would roll, it's suppose to come out automatically however he continues to job hop. So again his continued chaos.
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Your XAH knows you are a wonderful mother and you won't let your kids suffer. He may be angry with you because you are calling him to account. He isn't getting away for free as he is not seeing his kids and his addiction is bankrupting him spiritually.
As Lurab says, the best thing here is the letter X.
That's the unfortunate part billie is he's so anger with me that the kids do suffer badly .. This is my only income and he's just unbelievable .. He's an alcoholic though ... What do I except honestly this .. Which is sad.
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
I suppose the good news is that you do have the legal process for assistance. I am sure you can remember what it was like when you were new to the program and weren't 'there' yet. It does sound as if his disease has him very righteous in his actions and that's too bad, as you say - it's the kids who are the most affected.
I remember back when mine were younger thinking, if it were just me - I could camp out and couch surf to escape the insanity. However, when there are kids involved, we have to act like adults and try to create a world for them where they feel safe and secure. Very hard to do with this disease, but you've been a shining example of how to work it - don't stop now!
I encourage you to use every possible resource you can/have (courage to do the things we can) to get monies as fast as possible. That seems to be the trigger for you right now (rightfully so) and perhaps shouting from the rooftops to the lawyers and the court will get you faster action. Surely all these processes can't expect a woman with two children to survive without support that has already been deemed due....
One time, as an advocate for my bipolar homeless cousin (another story for another day), I went to the Social Security Office and camped out with her for 8 hours. We stayed until we got what we came for - immediate support for her. She'd gotten the run around trying to use the paper-system and the county process. Her case manager suggested this, and it worked.
As you've relocated to a different place, have you considered contacting local agencies for interim support/assistance? Back to 'courage to change the things I can'....? Just another thought/suggestion.
He's gonna do what he's gonna do and it's your job to use the process to deter/dissuade his stalling tactics. You got this - trust God and Go girl!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I finally have some good news to post .. something has happened with court I don't understand and I haven't been told yet by my atty .. what I am thinking is that my XAH is being strongly directed to sign and being told he has no choice.
Until I hear that from my atty I don't know. The date was vacated and I just about cried out of sheer frustration .. LOL. I don't know what that all means yet. Soooo hopefully what is going down is that the atty's are tired of us both .. LOL .. and they are saying this is going to be done and that's the end of it. My atty is the first to say I stay out of everything until I get poked and he poked me big time, absolutely I reacted to it.
I have really good news to post, I will do so in a separate post.
Hugs S :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
