The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The meeting itself was amazing. the topic was reaction. So I was really able to relate to it. I didn't share of course. I was a little bit suffocated..I have an issue with dealing with a big group of people..anxiety attacks...but I stayed..a lot of people in a small room...I just kept asking HP to help to keep me there...I kinda scratched my arm up a little bit..didn't notice till i got back in the car when I was leaving...tonight I will clip my nails all the way down because I will return next Sat. Then gave me a newcomers packet. I did not stay at the end to fellowship it was just too many people. But I did say I will see you all next week. I am glad I took this step.
I almost felt a little guilty when I kissed AH goodbye.. I had told him on Thursday when he was sober that I would be going, but he didn't remember this morning. it was ok though. he looked sad and said I love you as I left.. It did not stop me. when I got back he was already into his first 6 pack as I figured he would be. I came in and could tell he didnt want to talk to me and he left.. I laid down and took a nap as I was exausted from my anxiety. All in all it was a good day!
Good Job! Keep going back and keep an open mind. For months I went to F2F meetings and felt like I had to get my words just right to share and my thoughts were so confused I couldn't think straight. I concentrated on the opening and closing statements and the loving words that are contained in them. I would close my eyes and really hear and feel every word. Eventually... I was able to share, but it was literally months of 6 meetings a week. I too used to be concerned for the AH and watch for his reaction as I was leaving the house for a mtg. When I realized that there really was nothing being said about him personally, that the program was to keep the focus on me and MY recovery, I relaxed about that too, it is truly MY program, he can get his own!You have already taken the most important step, that is stepping into the rooms!
__________________
Nothing has changed but my attitude, everything has changed.
Good work Debra Just remember you do not have to speak-- Listen to learn is a very important part of meetings. I did not speak for a year but did sit, listen and simply connected with others in the room and broke the terrible isolation that is the result of living with this disease.
Please keep coming back. Meeting are all about you and learning how to take care of yourself in a positive manner. .
So very, very glad you went and found something enough to go back! Proud of you and your courage and so glad your experience was positive.
I find when I go the topic is almost always relevant to something happening in my world. (((Hugs))) to you - way to go!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Glad you found the courage to attend your first meeting and invited your hp along. Great to hear you want to keep coming back and that you took very good care of yourself when you got home. ((((broken))))) TT
__________________
Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
