The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for September 19 speaks about Step Eight and making a list of all the people we have harmed. The reading notes, that it Is important to review what kind of harm we might do to others,before we can list the people we hurt. We can ask ourselves about situations in which each of our character defects might have lead us to act in a harmful manner. The reading states that it is extremely important to own these patterns of destructive behavior which is as important as making the list.
We may find ( as I did) that we have harmed others even though we had honorable intentions.
Today's reminder states that Step 8 helps us to let go of guilt and regret. We must approach this Step with love and gentleness because I take it for my own freedom.
The quote is from:"In all Our Affairs": Actions have consequences, and sometimes other people get hurt. By taking Step 8 we acknowledge this fact, and become willing to make amends."
When I finally accepted the fact, that my supposedly "loving kindness and compassion" for others, had caused harm unintentionally, I could easily see how my other character defects and been equally destructive.
Since Step Eight, only calls for making a list of the people I harmed and becoming willing to make amends I was given great room to process this Step. I must add that my sponsor suggested that I place myself the top of this list because I had harmed myself most. The more I thought about this. the more I understood it to be true.
It is indeed a powerful tool for recovery
.
-- Edited by hotrod on Saturday 19th of September 2015 07:43:00 AM
Thanks Betty for the daily and your ESH. For me, it took a while to realize that the best of intentions had actually caused more pain that I had ever considered. I had to stop considering what my intentions were and focus on the acts/deeds/words. It's not about the why it's about the what....
So many of the slogans support the need for us to stop, pause, think and/or process before we act/react. As I went through the steps, I could see where these would and could help me be a different person as I moved forward in recovery. I love the quote for the day - and had to learn through this program that actions have consequences aligns with both positive and negative...
Step 8 asks us to be brave and through and to make a list of ALL .... we don't have to run out and shout our defects from the mountain top (what I was afraid of when I first encountered the steps), we only need to make a list and be willing to right our wrongs.
What a powerful tool. Love the action steps as the consequences of taking action in this program is what changes me to be better and different than before.
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
