The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for September 12 speaks about the concept of awareness and acceptance. It points out that often we become aware of a problem and once we obtain that awareness , it must be followed by a period known as "acceptance ", before we can actually take an effective action. This is what is referred to as in the slogan that three A's.-- Awareness, acceptance and action.
Coping with the new awareness is extremely awkward and difficult, so many times we are moved to react to the issue by implementing an action to relieve that anxiety and despair. We jump into an action that is often inappropriate and will not solve the problem.
. The reading points out that until we accept the reality of the situation, feel the feelings generated by the situation, we will not be able to take any effective action. This is where acceptance comes into play. The suggestion, "don't do anything just sit there comes to mind." This is how I implemented acceptance.
Many of us hesitate to accept an unpleasant reality because we feel that by accepting it. We condone it. This is not so.
As the the ODA T states; acceptance does not mean submission to a degrading situation. It means accepting the fact of the situation, then deciding what we went to do about it the. Acceptance is empowering because it makes choices possible.
The quote is from Thomas Jefferson; "for here we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead."
I know I was one of those people that quote if I accepted something him and I approved. After reading this meditation, several times. The truth became very clear and I understood the power of acceptance. I think this is an important concept to implement.
With the help of Al-Anon and Al-Anon tools I no longer afraid to follow truth
Wonderful reading today Betty. Acceptance is not condoning. Acceptance to me was living in reality. Once I moved to reality and allowed my HP to work within me it became so much easier to cope. Living in truth and accepting myself in the process allowed me to live in less fear, resentment and anger and that realization gave me hope and confidence. It all fell in to place. Thank you Al-anon! {{HUGS}}
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
This is a great page, thank you for sharing, Betty.
I really appreciate this concept of allowing time before we act may be our best option; as you noted, 'don't do anything'. I used to feel motivated to take action whenever I was not comfortable with an idea, theoretical position, or behavior. I regularly took action without taking time to understand whether it was my place to intrude, or what was truly in the best interest of those involved. I acted based on what worked for me.
Breaking situations down to the three A's is really helpful. It is helping me settle down long enough to get a better sense of the surrounding issues and considerations. True to what is stated in the Reminder, I have found that this opens up more, and often much better, options for me to choose from.
Thanks Betty and Debb
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thank you Betty...The" dont do anything, just sit there" is what I have been trying to implement in my life...sometimes however I forget because for almost 14 years I didnt just sit there...I argued, I cursed...and kept adding to the issues at hand. Now I sit her with my back to my qualifier pray the serenity prayer and eventually it is over... There are times when I still think deep down he needs me..needs me to control and take care of him and yet I know I cannot........he is noticing ...not saying anything about my changes but I can tell he is noticing....
For me, this reading gives me permission to stay in the present and live my truth. I am one who used to react without accepting and often times, my actions were so not good for the situation, myself or anybody else involved.
This reading really helps me understand, "When in doubt, don't" even more. We talked about this slogan a bit this morning and it was interesting how most of us used to feel that inaction was negative as opposed to positive or proper for adequate decision-making.
Only through this program, the tools, the steps and a lovely sponsor have I learned that my truth and my reaction time are unique to others, and not an indicator of my serenity level and/or my growth. They are just a step in the processing of events/situations in life. If I pause before I react/respond, it's perfectly fine and in my case often the wisest choice.
Believing and knowing my HP has my back helps me be OK with don't do anything, just sit there. This reading was one I had to read twice to absorb....
Thanks to all for your ESH and thank you Betty for the daily!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
