The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
"Today, I make a commitment to be honest with myself. By facing reality, I become someone I can depend on."
It took a while before I became someone that I could trust, because my self esteem was shot.
Step 4 helped me to overcome my lack of confidence and helped me to like myself by making a moral inventory of myself. I also had more trust in my HP as well, which I felt was most important.
You notice that I speak of trusting oneself, not the alcoholics/addicts in our lives. We come to terms with them in a different, by becoming more empathic and understanding, because trust in them is not the issue, the focus in Al-anon, is on healing ourselves.
By working step four and listing all your positive and negative attributes, most of us will find that there are far more positive than negative.Bringing those assets out into the open allows us to see and work on those negatives, on our list, by using the positives.It is a win/win situation, and am amazed and wish I had known about this exercise years ago!!!
As you work on step 4 you will learn the power within you was much stronger than you realized.The truth shall set you free is what comes to mind, as I did/finished step 4.
And finally, Al-Anon is a "One Day at a Time" program. No matter what is going on around me, today I know that I am moving forward. I will trust the process of recovery. I'll let time take time.
TGIF
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
This is why my sponsor had me make a list of my assets AND my liabilities/character defects when I worked step 4. I was so hard on myself that I only saw the negative, the defects, the problems. But, after writing out everything and prayer and viewing ALL of me (not just the defects) I was able to learn to not only trust myself, but to also love myself. Have a great day!
__________________
Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Hi Debb Great topic I found that I needed to first learn to trust my HP before i could move forward and truly trust myself. I found the dynamic that worked for me was Trust HP, one day at a time, this lead to my trusting alanon and ultimately myself.
After trusting myself and my instincts, I was able to decide who was trust worthy and who was not .
I was then able to treat all with courtesy and respect while trusting my ability to live life on life's terms with acceptance, knowing that others had to earn my trust.
