I didn't know what to put for a topic. Right now, things are so stressful. I just had my birthday, and things have been blowing up around me. I act like I have it all together but then something else happens. I'm dealing with major insomnia again. My car died. I've been driving my A's car now. Currently I'm stranded on the side of the road as the radiator leaked all the coolant and it was smoking under the hood. I was supposed to go teach and contacted them. They were kind- are you alright? I don't want you to try to make it here and get stranded. Nice words to hear. When my A contacted me, it was, what did you do? You know, we can't afford two car payments. That wasn't doing that to me- I've never had that problem with my car. I felt chastised. Who cares if I'm ok. All about this piece of crap car. So I get upset and tell her i feel like she's chastising me and I've done nothing wrong, and she starts yelling at me, then hangs up on me(which I absolutely hate). Then started texting me tell me she wasn't chastising me, this is what she said. She can never be wrong. I'm always to blame- whenever I drive this car it has something happen to it. And she won't right out say it, but will always say, "I haven't had a problem with it." or "you need to treat my car gently" or "I know how much you hate driving my car." Yes, I hate driving it. Because maintenance on it hasn't been done on it unless I pay for it and I can't right now. Then, something happens to the car when I drive it like I drive any other car, but because it is HER car, I must have done something to it. I have voiced concerns about how the car is acting but I'm either questioned on what I was doing or told it never does that to me. I wish I lived with someone who cared. She did take me out to a restaurant for my birthday and had some friends come- paid for mine and her friends- my friends had to pay for their meals. Awkward. She also said no gifts, though some wanted to. I never said that. However, I think she said that because she had no intention of getting me any gift, and kept saying the dinner is my gift (yet paid for half of the people there, as she said, as a thank you). Then, one person said, you picked this restaurant more for you than for the birthday girl, which she admitted. I'm very go-with-the-flow (you have to be in these types of relationships) but it really got me thinking last night. Especially since she's always complaining that I don't like what she does for my birthdays. I always thank her, but I'm not jumping up and down. And Ive never said I had a terrible birthday. She has never asked me in the years we've been together, hey, what would you like for your birthday? Would be kinda nice to do something I'd like to for a change. Maybe my expectations are too high, but when I really get down to it, a lot of mine have been lowered so much that I just simply don't care anymore. As long as I'm not in a fight or being blamed or yelled at is a good day, in spite of the problems I face on my own. Thanks for letting me vent. Personally wish I wasn't complaining so much on here and could see my progress.