The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
can someone explain to me what are our symptoms from living with an alcoholic? All the time I hear that yes that is a symptoms? Is there a place I can find all the answers?
I just started to read the blue book of AA thinking it would tell me there?
Here are a few
Feeling like (or believing) you somehow caused the alcoholic to drink.(because you nag, or don't support them enough, or because ___________)
Feeling like you can get the person to stop drinking (by giving advice, hiding or throwing away their alcohol, or by telling them when they have had too much, or by givng them literature to read or by ____________)
Thinking you can cure the alcoholic by telljng them the perils of drinking, by shaming them about what they are doing, by driving them to rehab, by putting them on a special diet, or by _____________.
A good place to start would be on our FAQ at http://alanon.activeboard.com/t13820090/frequently-asked-questions/
Ignutah has some good points above. The best way is to go to an Al Anon meeting, you can find out more there, you can also get some literature. My favorite there is "How Al Anon works". I read it for the first time a couple of years ago, and I kept saying "hey, that's me there -- that woman is having the same probelms as me with her alcoholic -- that guy is nuts: hold on, I do that!!"
Hopeswims , Welcome to MIP The AA big book is great for understanding the disease of alcoholism. Alanon is the recovery program for family members. Alanon literature such as :"Alanon faces Alcoholism and the "Merry go Round Named Denial", are powerful reads.
Here are a few symptoms:
Focus outwardly on others and neglect themselves Deny reality and often pretend Choose Chaos, Addicts with Low self-esteem People Pleasers with Top Marks in Chaos Management Caretakers of impossible Situations Poor or Non Existent Personal Boundaries Poor Communication Skills that allow Dysfunction Chaos to Continue Denial Issues that Keep Relationships Going Well past the Best by Date
Ignutah gave some great answers there. I think being in a long relationship with an alcoholic often makes you question your own sanity as well, especially when the alcoholic tells you that you are crazy all the time. I also think it is common to develop lower self esteem due to feeling like you are second choice to alcohol and/or that the alcoholic doesnt care about you enough to change (even though those are not realistic ideas about alcoholism and how it works). I think intense anger and lack of trust develops from being made promises that are not kept and being blamed for things that are not your fault. I also think being incredibly tired and feeling defeated are common due to taking on all the responibilities that the alcoholic wont live up to.
