The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It is day one after the funeral,and last night I woke up several times in the night,nights are bad,I have vivid dreams and I wake up with tears streaming down my face.I swear I can hear his voice and feel his presence beside me.I am going to be here a a lot,so bear with me.All I can do is write, and talk, and cry.Thank God for school and friends or I don't think I would leave my bed.I want to do something positive with this pain.My major in college is dependency disorders,I want to work with people,I have a story to share with them.Today I am going to a correctional facility as part of our class and maybe there is someone there who will hear his story and see the truth of this disease.
(((Mary)))I hear you and am extremely impressed with how you are processing your grief and your decision to share your story with others so that someone might benefit from your painful experience. This is such a powerful and positive action, I know you will succeed. Prayers continue.
Thank You,I know there is a reason for this and I am listening to god's voice,his spirit is telling me to go on and not die myself,to use this experience to help people.
(((Mary))) - Continued prayers and positive thoughts your way. One day at a time sounds like an awesome plan. Know that you are not alone!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
you have been often in my thoughts as you have had to endure this most terrible saga. I am so glad you are wise enough to realize that writing and sharing can help, and that your pain and experience can help others. Keep honoring your own needs and taking care of yourself. You so very clear - and strong - and I am glad you can turn to this group. Hang in there!!!
I'm inspired by people who can take something tragic in their lives and turn it towards doing good in the world.
I know a lady, who was one of the interview subjects for my Master's thesis (about coping strategies of grandparents who become primary caregivers of their grandchildren) who lost BOTH her children in a car crash a couple of years ago. She founded an organization devoted to helping people "grieve well," i.e., to own and process their feelings and be connected with others who have experienced similar losses. While she will always have an empty space inside her (no one should have to bury their child), she has channeled her sorrow into helping others, and it gives her life purpose.
I sense the germination of something similar in you, with what you have shared here. As we're fond of saying in Al-Anon, please be gentle with yourself and allow yourself the luxury of feeling all the feelings, for that is how we ultimately heal. I'm especially glad you're remaining connected here and reaching out.
