The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
... doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. By this definition then my insanity comes and goes depending on how well Im working this programme. If im on my game going to meetings, sharing with my sponsor, meditating, in contact with my higher power, reading the books etc. Then, Im fairly sane. I can keep the programme in my mind and all the day to day triggers that crop up can be dealt with using the principles of Alanon, and its smooth.
However, due to the fact im a human being and I cant keep it up at all times I let it slip and in comes the insanity and I can go back to the old tools. Fear based decision making, insecurity, suspicion, manipulation, immaturity, victim (poor me) /martyr role I can enjoy so well. These symptoms are always going to be with me. What Alanon gives me is a structured way to change my thinking from the sometimes automatic negative thinking that Ive lived with so long. Thanks for reading.x
I can so relate......just about when I think it's all good, and I do something or somethings differently, in creeps my insanity.
I wish I could hold on to and remember always that preventative efforts are so, so, so worth it.
Alas, as you said, we are human though so and I am so grateful that when I slip, I don't have to fall all the way down - I can reach out and my program friends and program family will pull me back from the danger zone.
(((Hugs))) to you - very well written and very spot on....
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I agree LC That is the reason I will never graduate from this program. I fully understand that it is "a one day at a time "program and I get a daily reprieve when I choose to I use my tools-- Each new day I must make the decisions and stick with the principles ODAT.
Great reminder
Sometimes I am deeply immersed in Al-Anon working my program day and night. Then other times I am off the wagon so-to-speak and I feel negative and down on myself. And I have to keep reminding myself that "BALANCE" is what I need in my daily life. Finding a healthy balance. Remembering that is the hard part.
Yep. I've slipped into being a negative nancy lately myself. I need to work harder and live by the steps and the principles. I have been snapping and picking arguments when i dont need to. I have been paying attention to and feeding into some drama that would have been best to ignore. Back to work. Progress not perfection.
Wow, I can totally relate. I have to be extremely diligent about working my program daily now; even more so than I did when I lived with active alcoholism because now I know I'm just as crazy as the alcoholic was when I lived with him. It really comes back around when it's just you and God and everyone else around you and you can only point the finger at yourself.
But, today, when I feel myself slipping, I can acknowledge that it's happening. Years before I didn't even know I was sick and I had no way of knowing how to fix things. Today, my life is different and I have awareness. And, for that, I am grateful!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Elcee, this is exactly what I have been thinking about today. What is so hard for me to wrap my head around is the fact that *I KNOW* my old ways of reacting don't do anything but make ME more miserable, yet sometimes I still revert back to them , I guess it is just our flawed humanity :) Life is always so much better if I stay grounded in my program, but busyness, tiredness, even hunger can make me get lazy. Thank you for this share...I needed to hear it today!
