I'm soooo glad the week is over with .. LOL .. I'm good with never seeing last week again. 

I have felt very helpless with so many things that have been out of my control .. starting with a job .. having to deal with my mom who means well however if it wasn't for the kids I would rather be homeless.  My sponsors illness .. and the sad thing is it's not happening to me, she's the one living in pain.  I wish I could make it all better is the issue I'm having with that situation.  I hate it.  My XAH not paying the money he is suppose to pay. 

Needless to say no car that means no Alanon meetings for me so I really need to get into the podcasts and just focus on those for a while.  I'm in a definite step 1 mode .. my life has become unmanageable .. yes .. I would say it has in an instant. 

New day .. new attitude and new perspective about a few things.  First off it is a blessing I didn't get that other job .. with my car down I could not have gotten back and forth easily.  If I could I'm sure it would have been expensive and time consuming.  I interviewed yesterday for a job and it's so much closer if I get into trouble with my car I can walk .. it will be a LONG walk however you know what .. I have done it before granted I was younger, .. I need the exercise even more now.  So that's not a bad thing.  If this job doesn't workout they already have me in mind for another one so I'm keeping my mind open to the possibilities.  I also talked to my atty and from the sounds of it he's going to crap his pants and that's putting it mildly .. he's again thousands more into the hole to me over the fact he hasn't been paying the legal amount he should have been and this should have been fixed WAY back in February of this year .. because he refused to comply now we are into the thousands and this money he is going to have to pay up front.  We will be close to 20k if I allow it to slide more.  His atty is soooo done and he's currently 3 weeks behind in child support.  If he's not fully caught up before we go into court he is going to have contempt charges filed against him.  I will have to travel home for that however it will be ok, I plan on being there with bells on .. LOL.  I'm sure his atty will be sooooooooooo happy to see me .. LOL .. NOT.  So that little bomb will be dropped on him and then it's going to get nasty .. we will call her income into question as well.  So that will help me I think get everything immediately set into place.  His atty is not going to fight anything further and the fact that I have done every single thing they have asked with in a reasonable timeline, my XAH .. almost a year will go by and he just ignores it.  How bad it is and I know I've asked this question before .. when the X's atty feels bad for YOU .. LOL .. going oh God .. let's just get this done already.  So .. this is all very, very positive news for ME .. not so much for the X though .. LOL. 

I also heard from my sponsor and got an update .. good news and bad news .. good news they haven't found anything else .. bad news same deal they haven't found a point of origin.  So she's been put through the ringer .. when I spoke to her I wound up talking to her BFF because she was so out of it.  I'm glad I got to talk to her, I had text a hi and thinking of you text I honestly had not meant for her to call me. 

So things have turned a corner, I'm sure some of it is my attitude about the situation and some of it is I found some relief .. however it doesn't mean I won't be on meltdown at some point .. LOL .. it was a lot to take in just in one week!!  My daughter joined girls wrestling.  She really wants this .. she took it upon herself to figure out how to look into sports scholarships at her school talk to the coaches and so on.  I think this will help her with her self esteem and she's excited to work on her weight.  And she brought home a high grade in math on a first test which is HUGE as well .. LOL .. very proud of her.  They seem to have a very positive approach.  My son is being encouraged to move to Pre-Advance Placement in his math class.  That's SOOO huge .. LOL.  We have both struggled with his math and for those with kids there is not like doing math the way you learned to hear that's not how you do it .. LOL.  So the fact we haven't strangled each other is a good thing!!  The kids are adapting to this situation and we are making the best of it.  The fact they are sooo excited about school, making new friends and just thriving .. that puts me in my place faster than anything else. 

Sigh .. thanks for the prayers I'm in a much better place today and am trying to stay there by just staying in step 1 today. 

Hugs S :)