The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I recently posted about my ex being found dead and today I am going to see his sister,we were close,she really liked me.I don't know all the details yet,but there may be a girlfriend involved so I want to decide if it would be appropriate to go to the funeral home or not,it doesn't seem real, I think I need some closure.
Mary you have more involvement and therefore for me more privilege. It would seem strange for me again to be there and not see you there also. After all the closure is on part of your life. Lay it to rest and they lay him to rest and go on. You are not more or less of who you are because of him...he was not and is not your higher power. For me I found out that as long as I had memory...the door was always open. (((hugs)))
(((Mary))) - I hope your visit goes well. Grief is such a strange animal - each person processes so differently. Just take your HP and I am sure it will go as well as can be expected.
I have you in my thoughts and in my prayers. I'll only suggest that you write about it, talk about it and pray about it. Like all things in our lives and program, the answers will come. The choice is yours completely - do not allow anyone else to make that decision (go/no go) for you.
Know that we're all here for you!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Mary, I think that you should do what feels right for you. Closure is important, and you have a right to that closure. How you obtain your closure is something to work out between you and your HP.
Sending supportive thoughts your way,
Sarah
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Mary , my son's ex girlfriend called and asked if it would be acceptable if she attended his service. I agreed and it all worked out well. Look within and trust the process.
I am crying daily, and I am not sleeping at night,I talked to his sister and found out he was homeless,he was sleeping on his mothers porch with his bags of clothes all around him.His mom couldn't trust him anymore.He would steal from her.He was shooting heroin,so he became very sick,unreachable by humans.I am going to the funeral to say goodbye.I wanted so much better for him.
(((Mary))) - so very sorry that the 'end' for him was as it was. I am one who believes that for those who can not get recovery, their peace comes when they move from this earthly life to what is beyond. I'm still sending tons of prayers for you, his family and hoping that you know you did all that you could. He's no longer suffering and he's no longer homeless - he has been called home.
Positive thoughts to you and his family as you place him to rest.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I do believe that there are somethings worse than death. I can't imagine his mother's pain with him out on her porch as a constant reminder .I wish you and his family and loved ones peace.
