The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I posted a few weeks ago about my step mother who was suffering from end stage liver disease.
She died early this morning while the nurses were bathing her. She stopped breathing, and they did not attempt to resuscitate her due to a DNR order her next of kin had signed when all of this started.
I didn't find out until about an hour ago. My eldest sister tried to stop the news from getting back to me because it's my birthday. I have friends coming to visit from out of province and she was going to try and keep it hidden from me until after the weekend had passed.
I'm on a bus right now headed home...my dad called me at work to tell me. I'm sitting here wondering what this is going to mean for the future of my dad and teenage sister. Is this going to be better for them? Worse? My sister is 14 years old. She just lost her mom. I can't even begin to wrap my head around the correct words to say to her
SPJ, I too extend my condolences to you and your family. Daze you are so right, there
no correct words that can truly comfort someone when there is a close lose. SPJ I
will say a prayer for you that HP will help and guide you and your family at this very
difficult time. Have a safe trip and happy birthday.
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
SPJ - I am so sorry that you're experiencing this grief on your birthday - or any day. There aren't any right words to say. Feeling dizzy with a ball of emotions is exactly what most people experience.
I was so lucky to be a hospice nurse for several years. It gave me so much insight into what it means to be human and to let go. It helped fix the "fixer" in me.
It taught me that no matter what - preparation, time, counseling, classes, planning - there is NO WAY to be "ready" for a loss like this.
I encourage you to be exceedingly gentle with yourself. Take each feeling as it comes, and then goes. Take one breath at a time. Know that we are here to support you through this and that you don't have to have words or answers or "fixes" for your dad or little sister... You just have to be present.
So very sorry for your loss. (((Hugs))) for you and your family. Know that I too am sending positive thoughts your way and many prayers for peace.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
i am sorry to read of your loss. Prayers and positive thoughts on the way to you and your family.
This might be a great time to offer your 14 year old sister information about alateen. It is there that she can receive support from others who will truly understand.
So sorry for the sadness Abby. Not a great event for your birthday and still proof of powerlessness. Go find a quiet bench somewhere where the visuals are nice and calm and ask your HP to hold you and sit with you. Later on you can do that with your younger sister also. Prayers and (((((hugs)))))
So sorry to hear this. Sending comforting thoughts your way.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Happy birthday. I'm not being sardonic. I want to acknowledge your birthday and celebrate your birth. It shouldn't be completely lost in this event this year.
I'm not sorry she died, from memory in another thread, it didn't sound like she was enjoying life or benefiting others. It's good she's moved on in this grand adventure & fingers crossed she's resting and recuperating and being bathed in otherworldly love right now.
I'm sorry for the pain and mixed emotions you, your dad and sister must be feeling. It is beautiful that you can be together and the only words we really need to here are "I'm here, I care."
Onward, brave scootypuffjunior.
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You are young, my son, and, as the years go by, time will change and even reverse many of your present opinions. Refrain therefore awhile from setting yourself up as a judge of the highest matters. Plato
I will join in wishing you a happy Birthday scooty! May you find a bit of joy during this difficult time!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
