Good luck with all that. I know what tough going that is. My first husband who is the father of my son only paid child support for about three years, sporadically and only what he thought he could afford on any given payment and not the amount that our agreement was for. In the end I chose to just let him slide and not pursue the child support. It would have been really nice to have, but having to deal with him on a regular basis wasn't worth it. He had this idea in his mind that as long as he was paying child support he could visit his son. I didn't realize that that meant that if he stopped paying child-support he would abandon his son all together and never call, write, visit, or even send a Christmas or birthday card. We haven't heard a word from him or received a penny of child support since my son was eight years old. He's 28 years old now. I decided a long time ago that my son was better off without his deadbeat dad in his life. He is an amazing young man and probably a better person for not having the influence of his father around. Sadly the replacement I chose has been as huge of a disappointment in the father department, as he has in the partner department but my son still came out ahead and is a better person than his father or his stepfather will ever be. Probably because he has a great mom ! Lol

Hang in there. This stuff does get better and the kids will be sad about their relationship with their father, but they will persevere and be better people for their trials and they have you! <3

-- Edited by JukuVee on Thursday 3rd of September 2015 04:01:42 PM

This is what I'm so upset about Debb .. it has been in the past and every time we head into court what do you know he's changed jobs. So I have to go through all of the steps to have the Uniform Order of Support placed through.

I have not heard from my atty since the last court date so I'm hoping she will call me sooner than later regarding all of this, because I have no information about what she's going in for come Sept 18th.

So the exact amount of child support has not been determined and I know between him and the NW that they are pulling in 90k at min. So the fact he has not done what he is suppose to do is just sickening.

Juk - Again I am just different I guess in that regard if I had given birth to the new messiah's then that would be different. He continues to do these drive bys in visitation and it hurts the kids further so if he would just straight up go away it would be different. I have sole custody since he's just not enough of an adult to make even basic decisions when it comes to the kids. He almost overdosed them each individually on just Tylenol thank GOD it was only children's Tylenol. It was enough to scare me a great deal. I don't think he's given the kids medication since my daughter could read and she started reading at the beginning of Kindergarten. There is actually 5 years between her and my son so from the time she was about 7 I would ask her to help with the medicine if I couldn't be home .. THAT'S how bad it was. I trusted my 7 year old more than the grown adult in the house. So now if there is an issue and it's my boy and my girlie .. my son defers to his sister before he listens to his dad.

I have a very different parenting agreement that basically eliminated all of his parental rights however he's still obligated to pay support and he signed off on it. My children have control if they participate in visitation or not. He won't go back in and adjust it because it will cost a great deal of money. He's fully aware that if something happens to me that the kids will not live with him. I have very good friends who have offered to step in and monitor visitation so he wouldn't loose those rights. He's unfit.

He tried to pull some stuff with the parenting agreement and the kids pretty much tried to tell them they didn't have to listen to me, they always had the final say. Umm .. kids tried to test that idea to their surprise they found out quickly mama doesn't play that. He only tried that once because the kids set him straight after that .. lol. Dad .. you may want to talk to Mom about that whole deal .. that didn't work real well for us .. lol. I never heard another word about it.

Anyway, I just really believe if he's working he pays .. I guess if he doesn't then I will have to decide .. his attitude is that if he ignores it I will just go away. My stubbornness I guess. Which isn't always a bad thing. I happened to have a conversation with a girlfriend of mine about this very issue and she reminded me of how much I have already let go of and it's not unreasonable to expect him to finish this so we can all move on. After it's all automated honestly I will have no need to have contact with him.

Hugs S :)

I hear you Debb I'm concerned too and what will have to happen is I'm going to get real familiar with Texas law because I'm asking that the court case be moved to Texas from Illinois.

Unfortunately there is no way to expedite the issue because I have to wait for the next court date I'm being very clear with my atty that I need to hear something at this point.

It's really so not ok that people do this .. and this is out of someone who goes on and on about what a Christian they are .. LOL .. ookk .. reason nothing 999,999 that I don't trust anything he says and I trust his actions even less.

Hugs S :)

PS - Just keep your fingers crossed that this job comes through and I'm really hoping my mom will help out for two more weeks on rent and food at this point. It just blows my mind that my XAH feels absolutely no remorse about his behavior or the fact he hasn't followed through on his responsibilities.

Debb .. My mom is still angry I didn't move to California and has taken every opportunity to tell me what I bad choice I made lol. So I don't like asking and have avoided it as much as possible. Nothing is ever without strings and I have yo remind myself that she loves me and this is her way. According to my mom it's my fault he doesn't pay his support lol. It's one of the biggest selfish reasons I'm so devastated about my sponsor .. She's been my second mom .. The mom who loves me unconditionally without judgment or strings. It really has been a long week.