The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Willingness is a readiness to change ones perception, the essence of all growth is a willingness to change for the better.
The definition of perception, for me, is how I personally view, sense and experience my world. We all have tendencies, especially when scared, angry and resentful, to perceive what we experience as fact, but in essence our perception is clouded by the negative emotions of the addict/alcoholic(s) disease and the effect those negative emotions have causes us to feel that our life is out of control. Willingness to see that I needed to change the way I perceived the chaos in my life, with my AH, and that I had to let go of the past hurts, was an important first step. I needed to approach life from a different angle, one where I can see how the disease was affecting me, and that I played a role in how the disease has caused me great stress and resentment. I had to be honest with myself and see that I needed to place myself outside the disease of alcoholism, I had to be open and take responsibility for the codependency of the disease, understand the disease and how it affected my AH. Stop trying to control or cure it and especially know that I did not cause it. The next step was to detach with love and empathy from AH and I was on my way toward peace and serenity. When there is willingness to change perception there is a way to live a healthier life! If you want to change who you are, change what you do (Al-anon Daily Meditation). Our neighbors window looks much cleaner if we first wash our own (Wisdom of the Rooms, Just For Today).
{{HUGS on this Wednesday}}
__________________
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Interesting topic Debb, when I first entered the rooms of Al-Anon I came because I was in extreme pain and I had no place else to go. I had tried counseling, church, traveling to help and the pain continued. I thought Al-Anon would give me the solution to stopping my partner from drinking. From day one. I learned that this was not Al-Anon's goal.
I learned that if I wanted relief from my pain, resentments, fear and anxiety, I needed to be willing to change my attitudes and perceptions.
New to program and thinking myself perfect, with healthy coping tools, I was resistant to any suggestion that I might have a part in the insanity that I was living in. The more I read the literature, picked up the small tools like the slogans and the serenity prayer, the more I began to feel better. That was enough for me.
The willingness to work the program, use the tools grew from that time on. What helped me the most was the gentle reminder at the end of each meeting to:" :"take what you like and leave the rest," this simple principle, enabled me to do just that.
I was willing to admit that alcoholism was a progressive disease over which I was powerless. That as the result of living with this disease I too had become affected and needed a program of recovery of my own.
Al-Anon had the wisdom and experience to help me shed my automatic negative thoughts(ANTS), my urge to react instead of respond and most importantly to rebuild my self-esteem and self-worth. I was willing to let go of attitudes that hurt me and so I embarked on this fantastic journey, one day at a time.
Thanks for the topic. I love the suggestion that if you want to know how the program works just use the letters in the word how-- honest, open, and willing. Thanks to program I now am all three.
