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Never did I feel I would be in this position but here we are... After a really nasty custody battle we have found out that my husbands ex wife has been on methadone for over a year and a half after we found her passed out in her car outside of my husbands work. There was no reasoning afterwards and since we have moved passed it and tried to understand as much as possible why she would pick there to have her relapse.
Fast forward to 4 weeks ago when we thought she was doing well, she was even saying how great her progress was going... Until my husband went to drop off his daughter to her and she was passed out in her car again... but this time for my step daughter to find her. It's been a month and after one week of no contact, she is demanding to see her daughter again. We have a court order for her to tell us it's a relapse but apparently it's not our business. My step daughter is beyond scared but cont to get no answers. It's so difficult to continue with this road, I wish she would just get help :(
-- Edited by chasingstars on Tuesday 1st of September 2015 07:25:10 PM
Welcome chasingstars, this is indeed a challenging disease, especially when children are involved. I found it very disturbing that I could not find any information out regarding my son because of The HIPPA laws. These protect his privacy.
If the child is frightened and not wanting to return to visit with mom, it may be necessary to go to court and explained the situation.
Meantime, I suggest that you search out Al-Anon face-to-face meetings and begin to attend. None of us thought we would be in this position and are all very grateful that there is a program set aside for people who live with this disease. I don't know how old the child is but there are also Alateen meetings for teenagers that help them deal with their fears and anxiety. The hotline number is found in the white pages. Please keep coming back here you are not alone
I'm sorry you and your family find yourself affected by this disease. I am glad your step daughter has you and her father to support her through this. When children are involved - it's takes an already terribly difficult situation and magnifies it ten fold in my opinion.
I am glad you're here to get some support and some tools to help you process this and figure out the next best steps.
Sadly this story is not a new one. Drugs and alcohol claim thousands of lives every year. It creates so much fear, tension and terror for young children. I agree with Betty that if your step daughter is old enough - she may greatly benefit from an alateen program.
For now - we're glad you're here. Take this one day at a time. Get to a face to face meeting when you can, as it's there that the program can be explained and mapped out for you in a tangible way.
Welcome to MIP CS, glad you found us and had the courage to share. Your step-daughter is very lucky to have her Dad and you to watch out for her. Based on what you have told us, your step-daughter's fears are very well founded and I would definitely contact an attorney who is knowledgeable in child protection. Also, you and your husband would greatly benefit from attending face to face Al-anon meetings in your locality. The tools that you both will acquire to cope with this situation, are so valuable. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/local-meetings Keep coming back to talk with us, you are not alone!
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
When I worked as a therapist in a youth recovery program the methadone clinic was up around the clinic and a time or two I would have to go there because parents and other caretakers were in it...Methadone was and maybe still is the prescribed alternative for heroine addiction. I've been out of the practice for a while however Mark or as we know him...PinkChip would know up to date. If she is on heroine that is very bad on others around her just as alcohol is. See if you have NarAnon available in your area. Prayers coming your way. (((((hugs)))))
Welcome chasingstars - so glad you found MIP and glad you found your courage to share.
I am so sorry that you are here under the stress of this disease. Substance Abuse, whether Alcohol or another, is a powerful and progressive disease. The first important concept I learned here was the 3 Cs - I didn't cause it, I can't control it and I can't cure it. The best you and your husband can do is work as best you can on yourselves and keep your world as safe as possible for the child/ren. This disease reaches well beyond the active person and recovery is possible.
I agree with what's above me. If the child is fearful, uncomfortable, it's possibly time to engage the legal process. Jerry's post is accurate too based on my not so long ago experience with my sons. Methadone and a new drug - Suboxone (sp?) are both prescribed to reduce cravings for Heroine addiction.
We learn in Al-Anon that we can only manage our own piece of this world and our actions and reactions. Please keep coming back - we're just a post away!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
In drug counseling at this moment and the Alcoholic, Drug counseling community frowns on Methadone. Many addicts say its worse to get off of. The drug for treatment is Naltrexone, a better choice, but as long as the courts and legal system recognize Methadone as a legal treatment that shows that the addict is doing a recovery program. Methadone is big business and brings in a lot of revenue.
Sad but true.. As you can see it doesn't work, it brings other issues.
Maybe your husbands attorney can some how have a judge listen to this little girl's fear. Addicts need consequences. Have found that a large majority of women got off heavy drugs because they wanted their children back.
Good luck to you and your family, hope all goes well, especially for the daughter, she must not grow up with this.
Hugs, Bettina
