The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Quick update. I'm moving away from the area I did rehab in to go home. I'm excited and nervous. My female friend is now sober but relying quite heavily on Valium and is understandably depressed. Aside from a couple of texts there's been no other contact. Trying to detach with love! Sadly one of the guys I shared a house with and did nearly 18 months of treatment with left last week but started drinking within a few hours. It turns out he was drinking on and off the the dry house we shared since Febuary. We were very close and he has gone off the radar and won't respond to any messages. He's angry at me because I said although I understood and could empathise with his situation I felt it was a betrayal of trust. He didn't like me saying that so he's gone off the radar. It's sad as two people I was very close to I'm no longer in touch with. It's the nature of meeting people via a rehab. I'm challenging the notion of not taking it personally but it is hard. Myself, I'm active in meetings, doing what I need to do and this will continue when I get home. In spite of these relapses of others I am for the moment OK. I'm at a difficult transition and sadly I can't help them as I genuinely need to focus on moving back and staying well myself.........
Glad you stopped in with an update PaulF, and good to hear that you are focusing on your self. You are correct to detach, because your success depends on your focus on you. You cannot control what others do in their recovery only what you do. Great work!!!!
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
So sad that the people you care about are not yet managing to fight free of their addictions. But so glad that you are taking good care of yourself and not letting them drag you into the pit of insanity. As I began to work my recovery, I was more emotionally available to meet people who were more emotionally healthy, and those relationships have helped me in turn. Once I had a reasonable stock of healthy friends, it was harder for me to backslide because I got a different perspective on what was "normal." Sounds like you are headed there too. I hope your transition to the new place goes well - we've got your back!
Hey Paul - good to hear from you! Hoping you continue moving forward in your journey. I went to rehab a long, long time ago and last I heard, everyone I was there with relapsed. Some got it later, others have died and others went off the radar screen so not sure.
I was told early on to stick with the winners. Surround yourself with program people that you admire and keep doing your thing. May you continue finding success, one day at a time.
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
